120/minute

I had palpitations again earlier this afternoon! So instead of going to the gym, ironing load-full of laundry, and packing for LA - I rested (as usual) and started reading 'The Da Vinci Code'... interesting huh, about the secrets of Christianity and the controversial group Opus Dei (which I was member of before).

Well yah, if you've read it, I was a numerary from 1996-1997. I didn't make it to oblation. If I still remember it correctly, after six months of lessons and classes about the spirituality of Opus Dei (since joining) you ask to be admitted to the group. Another six months after that, one will do the oblation. This means committing yourself voluntarily to the spirit of Opus Dei (OD). Afterwards you can live in the Center for Studies for two years, for intense formation. This, I guess is the start of a 'numerary' life.

I really didn't experience the 'harshness' or so called dark hole that other former members described about OD. I left happy and still in love with The Work (Opus Dei is latin for The Work of God). And contrary to the testimonials of former members, I am still very much in touch with my friends who remain faithful to the prelature. They were there for me when my father got sick, when I got married , and when my father died.

And since I was just a 'baby' in the organization when I left, I didn't get to use the cilice and the discipline that much. Funny though, they ran out of stock so I used it much later since I joined. Even so, I wasn't that diligent because heck it was painful! So I don't have any scars now.

So why did I leave huh? Well, 1997 October I was sent for a seminar in Makati (Ayala Land) and I got back together with my long time (forever love) friend and ex-boyfriend, Mark! Then I decided, I couldn't pretty much give up this 'magical' friendship I've always had with him. I will hate to see Mark in the future with another woman (much more wife and kids) when I very much know it could have been ME, so I thought... and so I was out of OD.

I realize now, that my so called life when I was with Opus Dei taught me how to LOVE! How to have a big heart! Not to be indifferent. To achieve excellence in whatever you do. To be the best. And for that, I need to shape up! I hope to be a good wife, mother, friend, daughter, and business woman.

Now, my heart beat is normal, not 120 per minute.