Seventh Heaven

We celebrated our 7th year anniversary on the last Sunday of Advent. A simple thanksgiving during mass made it more meaningful when our family lighted the advent candles before the mass began. He took me to a symphony orchestra featuring John Denver's arrangements on various Christmas carols, and we had dinner at a newly opened restobar (Yardhouse) in Downtown Denver right after.

A few days before Christmas he took me to our favorite Italian restaurant (especially during the Holidays), and then to a comedy "Santa's Red Big Sack". Feels good to be out on a date... when I don't have anything to take care of but myself.

How does a marriage last seven years? That's a mystery to be solved, and I hope a "lifetime" would answer it eventually. There were crazy days that made me weep and want to just give up. But moments of happy and bliss spells what you call the daily grind, and I guess that's what matters. I pray that our years will be merry and merrier... and our hearts will be full of love and respect for each other... may we grow old together laughing about how silly it is to be together and how sad it is to be far apart... may our children and future grandchildren know love through us...

"Thank you for enduring seven years with me!", he says LOL! Thank you, indeed!

Merry Christmas!

Wishing you can celebrate Christmas with us on Saturday, 25th December at lunch time.

We'll be having hamonada, roast beef, baked sea bass, lumpia shanghai, bacon wrapped asparagus, puto and dinuguan, bam-i, cookies and cupcakes, tiramisu, and more treats!

It has been a wonderful year! Thank you God for creating Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

May your Thanksgiving Weekend be filled with love and laughter, and lots of food!!!

From our family to yours,

The Habanas

The Kitchen, So Far...

It has become sunshine happy, so far... so good. Although early mornings are still dreadful, I really don't have a choice but to feed the boys and get the other one ready for school. The daily grind revolves around school and home, chores are limited to sweeping the floors and washing the dishes. Just the kitchen, most importantly. The others be damned, somehow. I can't stand it but what can I do? I do them occasionally. No one will shoot me for that, I suppose.

On more wonderful things, my mother will be here soon before Christmas! I couldn't wait. It would be a delight to have Mama around. I guess I will always be a little girl in her eyes.

Hope you will have a fabulous weekend ahead!

If I'll Have It My Way (Calling Santa NOW!)

I'd get that MacBook Pro and Nikon D7000! I can't have it my way, I don't have money LOL! But dreams are for free... it's just fun. So universe, if you're listening just make it happen okay? =P

Others, that tickle my fancy are not as expensive as the two previously mentioned:

• Iphone/HTC phone (Please include termination fee for my current mobile LOL)
• Ereader/I-pad (is this worth it? But well, I'm just dreaming anyways)
• Estee Lauder Makeup Kit
• MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus Foundation NC 35
• D&G Light Blue
• Dress/Tall Boots in Black 5
• A luxurious day at the spa and salon: massage, facial, mani/pedi, haircut
• Leggings and sweatpants
• Maternity Sweaters and Coat
• PJs and tanks
• A pair of gloves and scarf
• Nike running shoes 5
• A purse
• Panini maker
• Set of pots and pans
• A decent knife set
• Platters, serving dishes, plates, tea sets
• Linens: runners, placemats, napkins, napkin rings
• Silverware and glassware

I should stop before it becomes like a bridal registry LOL!

I am having so much fun!

Share Your Dreams

Lately, I have been looking forward to a not so distant future... I dream about it, I can see it vividly, I can picture everything from start to finish... I am so excited to do it! A very dear friend once told me to write my dreams on something... well maybe I should, but maybe not.

I plan to pursue "my arts" amidst the grueling life of motherhood. This, I want to do within a span of two years. It has something to do with food, as always. I can't wait.

A Battle

It has been a battle between the heart, the mind, and the soul. Lately, it seems like the mind has won. It grew tired of the heart's beating, and the soul's whining. It feels like the mind has successfully built a wall so the heart and the soul could function properly. The body however, is in constant exhaustion.

Sometimes I wonder, if my brain wasn't so talented would my life be less complicated? Is ignorance really blissful at all?

The mind is powerful, that I can say. For now, I will let it rule over me because...

What's New?

Life has been pretty challenging... every morning I wish I can sleep in.... but I can't. I need to get up, feed the little one, prepare the big boy for school, and drop him off to school. Oftentimes I forget to eat which is bad for this lime sized treasure in my womb. But despite all that, I look forward to my mornings alone at church. It has been really healthy for me, I enjoy my quiet. The little one naps on my chest on his carrier. It's peaceful.

It may be superstitious, or whatever you may want to call it... but it keeps me sane. It feels good to nurture the spirit. If only I could nurture the body well enough. Ah, the body complains. I keep having headaches at night. The mind is in chaos, constantly, and it doesn't help to see the chaos manifests in the household. Oh help me!

I've been busy preparing for my friend's surprise 40th birthday party. I love doing this! I should be paid to do this, but who would hire me? Who would in this economy? Who would throw parties? Much more hire someone to organize it for them!?! Hehehe!

The random blabbers, the nuggets from my silly brain, and the things in between... this is for you dearest.

Waiting to Exhale...

So, I am on hiatus... apart from the PC on sick leave due to a viral infection, I don't have the time and the soul to write something decent and worth noting. My day ends in a blur and starts with madness. Like a manic dog, I am exhausted ALL the time. With the chores undone, I still get tired. This little angel is sucking the energy out of me, she is thriving all right. Yes, I am PREGNANT! =)

***
My kitchen tales aren't so happy... full of whines, rants, complaints, and madness. I have been famished for so long that my mood swings drive me crazy, not to mention the surging hormones and post partum blues. Oh well... life happens.

***

The nook that I so love, is in shambles. I cannot muster that strength to tidy things up because I feel like I'd die if I lift my finger (just kidding, but somehow that's what I feel like most of the times).

***

First trimester almost over, I can't wait to be in that golden stage of pregnancy where I can do the things I want to do, etc. and etc.

***

Hope all is well with you!

CLOSED

The kitchen will be closed. No tales to tell...

Needs proper maintenance and upkeep.

Vacuum and mop, disinfectant.

Extra time, extra hands. I need.

Birthdays and Parties

I still remember how I get delighted every new year. I fancy my way through parties in my head, my guests, my menu (which I will ask my mother to prepare), and etc. It felt so nice catching up to my classmates' age (I was a year younger than my batch), but that really does not happen. Although now I am grateful for every year, I keep forgetting how old I've become. Perhaps it's true that age is really just a number.

Today, I see my eldest son way so excited for his fifth birthday party! He is counting the days, literally in the calendar. He couldn't understand yet that his party is not his real birthday, but who cares anyway? Hehehe! I asked him to pick a theme from a party store online. I indulged him, thank goodness his preferred theme was on clearance sale yey! We looked for possible cake designs for him, to which he was very particular with! So amazing how this little boy seem like a difficult "client" LOL! Months ago, he asked me to list down his guests and the food he would like to serve. That part, I couldn't indulge. The kids from his preschool, are off to kindergarten and it would be awkward to have them and the parents (whom we barely know) in a house full of people who will always celebrate Miro's baptism with us. Perhaps next year, when it's not a double celebration.

It's almost Saturday, and I barely even tidied up this house. My house guests will arrive on Thursday, and I better make some magic wand to keep this at least "guest friendly". How petty to be consumed by chores and whatnots... the truth is I am very excited to have company. Most of all for the little buddha's christening and the big boy's fifth birthday!

Busy Corner

It has and will always be busy from my corner. All the crazy-ness the past weeks have simmered down, nothing that an ice cream can cure... I need to work on stretching my patience and tolerance to things that can easily burst my bubble. Oh my boys test me so much, but at the same time they bring me so much joy! Their giggles surely make up for every worry, sadness, and fear. Life is beautiful! It will always be.

Laugh and Cry

Laughter and tears, what I just needed.

Cover

There are days when I would just like to hide under a pillow, sulk. Not hearing anything, no whines nor cries, no demands, nothing. Just me, lost in my pool of thoughts. No chores to think about, no backlogs, no mess but mine. Wasn't it like this years ago? Yet I complained, still. It drove me nuts, being just with me and my thoughts.

So here goes the universe slapping me in the face with a big woosh! "You crazy woman! Make up your mind!" Ah, after all the world does not revolve around me...

PANIC

Back then, I've always been proud as to how graceful I can be under pressure. Peers and friends would marvel as to how I keep it together. I wish I can call that 'self' now. My heart is pounding, my mind is almost having a short circuit. Here I go again with thoughts going to different directions...

There are a lot on my plate, excluding the two boys and the household. There are things that also matters a lot more than anything. Sometimes it really does have to come first, because what's the use of being here if I'm not healthy. I am scared, again. But I did this before, I should be able to do it again.

And there are stuffs to plan, forecast, and delegate... sometimes being self employed is a headache. Oh well, it is a headache! Pretty much not for the faint of heart. Now, I worry and worry. I refuse to tackle charts and graphs. I cringe every time I crunch numbers. Do you feel the same way too?

Back to me, focus. Eat well, sleep, and exercise. I should be better at this! Wait, and now I remember that huge pile in the laundry room? Help, anyone?!

What Do I Want?

Introspection, that's the process... been doing that lately. I am surrounded by a lot of inspirational people -- strong willed, passionate, smart, bold, and innovative. They are in dconstant motion redefining their lives, pursuing their hobbies, perfecting their crafts, loving with all their might, and juggling several projects with just two hands (won't be called juggling if they had four, right?!).

Now, what do I want to become?

Here Is My Heart

Here is my heart, my gift to you.

Take care of it, I got no spare.

I wish you well.

I wish you love.

I wish you happiness.

I wish you good health and good fortune.

(to all of you, from my kitchen)

Erase, Undo.

How do you get rid of a bad memory? I so wish you can just delete it and throw it in the trash bin, just like unwanted files. You can't undo what you just did and what you just said. So save yourself from trouble and think a million times before you do something that would hurt you and others around you.

There have been moments where I wish I could just zap myself out of a situation, or wish the earth would swallow me whole. Times where it hurt so bad, I wish I were never born. Sometimes, I want to just go away become a new person. But of course, reality is I need to toughen up.

Maybe the hormones, as always, can drive me nuts. Maybe I am just oh so dramatic. Maybe I am just sad. Maybe I will get over with this someday. Maybe, just maybe this is the way I am.

The Tender Years

Grade V 1987-1988

Grade III 1985-1986

Lately, my facebook has been flooded with a lot of notifications from my grade school classmates hehehe! Such a riot when I started posting an old photo and then there goes the planning of a much deserved reunion. You see, we haven't really had the chance to get together since we graduated in 1989.

As I looked through old photos, I remember the little girl I used to be. Lost in my own world of doodles and scribbles... wishing to become a doctor and a fashion designer someday. Neither of which came true hehehe!!! I used to wish I could dance gracefully so I can wear a tutu instead of a patajong (had to 'model' native costumes instead of ballet). I wondered what it would be like to be a grown woman. And oh how I dreaded having my menses! LOL!

Then this (in)famous school bully in his public apology, mentioned that we thought I was 'maldita' and did not bother me at all. Yes, I was bully-proof! I was quiet but feisty. I once threw a punch at him back then. It also helped to have my cousin, Ian, who used to be my bodyguard until he moved to another school in fifth grade. Maybe that's why I remained untouchable. Oh how I miss him, may he rest in peace.

All these tales actually scares the bleep out of me... if I have a girl, what would she be like? HAHAHA!!!

Self Love

So today, I spent three hours at the spa to get a new hairstyle, express facial, and pedicure. It's pretty expensive compared to the pampering and TLC I am used to back in Cebu. I wouldn't have done this without my gift certificate from my dearest fairy! The GC was in my purse since April. Good thing she keeps asking me whether I have used it already... I decided to book myself a spa day to get over with baby blues and gloom syndrome (I get sick when I don't see the sun!).

Loving thyself, is a bit challenging amidst the chaos and the demands of staying home with two energetic boys. The never ending chores take a backseat almost always... and if you know me well enough it's always the laundry room that I neglect the most (other than myself). What do you know, a few hours of alone time did wonders. It felt like I recharged my draining batteries and much more.

Lately, my husband and I have been discussing about pursuing our dreams and passion before it's too late. I support his plans as he always does to mine (read: passion not whims). He asked me about what I want to do as a "second act", I told him that my goal is to be beautiful always! LOL! He said it's not going to be cheap for him!!! "Oh Dad, please help me achieve my goal!"

It won't be easy to achieve... taking a long shower is even a luxury what more is it to 'beautify'? A friend of mine, who has four kids, once told me that she takes care of herself first and foremost. If you see her, it's pretty obvious that she does!

From now on, I must nurture self love above anything as selfish and shallow as it may sound... I don't mind what you think. I just refuse to drown myself in that dark pit once again...

Why Bother?

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

-Desiderata by Max Ehrmann-

***

Sometimes I don't understand myself... err most of the times. Why am I drawn to things that bother me with so much insecurities and whatnots? I will be myself. And I should not doubt that I can be whatever I want to be...

Unwanted

familiar, i do know you

but sadly you are not welcome.

When I Grow Up

If you have the time and money, what would you do for the rest of your life? This was a main topic with C over an almost four hour conversation! Only her can tolerate the chatterbox like me hehehe! And what do you know, I am discussing this now with P through chat.

So let me write mine down, whisper it to the universe, and one day it (should) may come true:

• publish that book!
• arts -- painting, make-up, photography, culinary
• organize fund raising activities
• travel

I should be more specific pero mauwaw ko! Ani na lang, okay? So what's yours?

Bus(y)ness

The mind is in constant chaos, thriving. It has realized that I've been freezing it for quite a long time, with maternity leave as an excuse. Oh well, it's about time to thaw it fully. And how appropriate that it's already summer. So brain defrosting, 70% as of the moment.

I can't articulate what and how I am thinking lately. Being busy physically does not describe how messy it is up here, in between my ears. The chores are constantly crying, calling my attention... I just couldn't tackle all of it. I must be lazy, still. Or perhaps, I prefer playing with my boys especially the little baby more than anything (now that he's starting to giggle, how can I resist that?).

So the projects which I intended to do, i.e. family albums, scrapbooks, frames, other businesses and ideas with friends will take a backseat. I need to focus my energy on important matters these days. And of course, cradling my sanity is top most priority.

May I be graceful under pressure.

Just Like the Weather

My mood swings has always been an issue for my parents and my siblings while growing up. Nobody can figure out whether I'd be chirpy or grumpy. My mother warned my husband on our wedding day. Much to my husband's (non) delight, he discovered and even volatile version. I went through 'crazy' and all that crap. Lucky that I had the best friend in the world, who would almost always yank me back to reality. So anyway, I feel much better.

Lately, I have felt a somewhat familiar tune... like a serenade luring me to crazyville once again. I am hoping I can be above all these since I have already been there. There are things I don't wish to ever think and do again. Yet sometimes, I am driven by my angst and grief that I say and act on a whim with complete disregard of any consequences...

Today, I tried to be sunny! Enjoying every moment with my little boys, but a monstrous migraine disrupted me and my plans to be up and about. Then I realize I hope I am not this volatile towards the people I care about.

Morning Offering

O Jesus,

through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,

I offer You my prayers, works,

joys and sufferings

of this day for all the intentions

of Your Sacred Heart,

in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass

throughout the world,

in reparation for my sins,

for the intentions of all my relatives and friends,

and in particular

for the intentions of the Holy Father.

Amen.

The Date

Ahmanson Theatre, LA

We weren't able to go out during my birthday because it was a work day and we missed the musicale at Buell Theatre this year (my supposedly earlier birthday celebration just like last year's), because I wasn't too well to be leaving the baby with someone else. So, we planned to have it in LA instead since we were hoping to attend Dale's christening. Plus, Filay would be a lovely baby sitter *wink*.

My Date

Little did I know, my date had already made plans. Although he wasn't able to get tickets to his original surprise (he's still not telling me), he was able to get us in The South Pacific. He chose the restaurant where we had our dinner before the show. I was a happy camper, no clue to where we were headed. I was expecting we'd go to the mall, catch a movie, and some food at a cafe. After the christening, I planned to change into more comfortable clothes like shirt and jeans but he didn't want me to... because...

The dinner was quite fancy for the two of us. I didn't want to order an entree that would cost as much as our usual family dinner out. But, it was our date! Well.... hehehe!!! We ate at Ciudad, the facade was not spectacular, it was at located in one of the commercial buildings in Downtown LA. There was a bar at the front and al fresco dining too, but as you go inside you see art deco and abstract doodles similar to that of Joan Miro. The service was superb and the food was great! Oh yum!

And then we drove to the theatre, he had to make sure the restaurant was just close by. He scheduled everything! I was so happy, still happy... that I didn't have to think that day. If you must know, it took him awhile to re-arrange his planned schedule since the other show (mag kisi kisi kuno ko ato, so he's still not telling) was fully booked that night.

The South Pacific did not disappoint, it was funny, sweet, romantic, and realistic.

"Happy talk, keep talking happy talk

Talk about things you like to do

You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream

How you gonna have a dream come true?"

Here's wishing for monthsarries in the years to come... and more surprises *wink, wink*

Happiness Is...

when the soul is dancing,when the breeze whispers calm,when love is beyond what you feel,when you know what matters.
made of moments you want to relive,of kisses and hugs you want to give and receive,and laughter with tears,made by the people who matters.

Lost and Found

It's funny how we find friendships in unexpected place, circumstance, and strange people (or so we thought). I don't have problems making friends, I work on it. I try to be a friend in all sense. Sometimes there are things -- unavoidable and sad -- that kills the relationship and well...

My sister often tells me "pataka lang ug pamunit", yes as if I took home some askal home. But really, there should not be any judgement at all... because, I always give people the benefit of the doubt (sometimes).

There have been moments where I found myself loving the person I used to hate, and hating someone I used to be so fond of. Now, at this age I have become such a recluse that I rarely make time to make new friends. Thank goodness for neighbours hehehe!

Nothing specific really, just thoughts about friendship... the people I love, the people I miss, and here's hoping they miss me too (ahem).

Investments

Today was beautiful, although nerve wrecking for me considering I had to cram for my learner's permit. I was actually scared to my wits that I wanted to cancel on taking the exam. Good thing the husband did not allow me, I passed anyway! So there.

As I've mentioned HKU merits another story... I pursued my graduate studies and came out a different person. My world was bigger and some things did not seem to matter. It was like my "coming of age". I've had several anxiety attacks to deal with. There were a lot of soul searching, fun, and some lovin'!

But this isn't about my graduate studies. It's about what I thought was a beautiful discourse between friends after dinner tonight. I am at awe at how meshed our lives are despite the differences. We all want to become better version of ourselves, and we all want to pursue the things that we love most (if we figure it out). We invest our lives into something and someone hoping it will give us the 'satisfaction'. We discern for ourselves, we make bold moves, and do that leap of faith.

Yes, faith. How much do you have? Are you confident that tomorrow will take care of itself? Well I am not honestly. As much as I want to be chirpy about it, I think we are responsible for the sum of all our choices. The life we have now is the fruit of our hard labor or recklessness. We are given talents to make use of and not to waste. We are given free will not to follow what others want for us. We are given mouths so we speak the truth about ourselves and not about others. We are given hearts to pursue love and not to envy what others have. That's just me.

I hope tomorrow will be fine. All these uncertainties can really make me temperamental. May I be calm, and sail through the wind without fighting it.

Exams

I get this knot in my stomach whenever I am about to take the exams. I take it to heart, not very lightly, that I can pass out. I remember during my finals in my graduate school, I kept going to the toilet minutes before we were about to enter the exam hall. My dear friend V had to call me out several times and gave me some reality check... "Ms. Crisostomo! What are you doing? We're gonna be late!"... that was almost a decade ago.

It used to challenge me to take the exams. Like this score junkie, I can't wait to know the results. I would like, almost always, to get the highest mark. I'd argue with teachers just to get extra credits, where credit is due of course. I'd negotiate with professors to do something extra just to have higher grades, i,e, write a paper, volunteer for class reports, etc. I would come up with 'projections' and expectations for each subject, to be able to come up with a decent average enough to be in the honor roll. If I fall short on my target grades, I'd hurt myself. Yes, physically torment myself like a psycho. That was how it was.

Why I went to HKU, and why I took Urban Planning was because it didn't require me to take any entrance exams like the GMAT for the MBA (which I would wanted to pursue). I only took TOEFL, just to prove that my English is good enough (blah!). Anyway, I think I was sent to HKU to learn more than Urban Planning though, but this merits another story.

When life happened to me, I was not used to being uncool with stuffs -- with failure, low esteem, mistakes, imperfection, etc. It drove me nuts that I couldn't handle what I thought to be was easy, supposedly. It drove my husband crazy as well and it took me awhile before I got out that hole.

I realize we don't get passing marks in life, but joys and sadness. Instead of A+ or a flat one, we get kisses, hugs, flowers, and love. We don't get an F or a 5, but we cry. We don't get the highest honors nor medals, but we get through life unscathed and strong, and we have friends and family to share it with.

My dear friend told me "di ka mamatay...." with regards to housekeeping and whatnots. I console myself with that, because instead of fussing and fretting about things that may not matter tomorrow, I enjoy my kids and keep myself and my husband sane (here's hoping). I have stopped comparing myself with others. And have ended this crazy illusion that I'll have an immaculate house and I can control everything and everyone like automatons. When life happened to me, I try to go through each day with dinner and laughter!

You think I'm such a psycho babble today, it's just that I am scared s**t tomorrow. I will take a written test so I can get a learner's permit to drive. Wah! So shallow. I have only read half of the handbook which have been sitting on my desk for more than a month already! Good luck to me! I badly need my driver's license. It sucks to be such a dependent.

Circle

It's truly wonderful to have the "best" friends in the world a soul can hope for. I have a handful of them, tested through time and adventures. They are the ones who are there when it matters. Not fleeting, not shallow... their love and support, I can always count on. We have been witnesses to each other's successes, heartaches, jubilation, neuroses, and whatnots. We spoil each other to bits. We have each other's back. These friends that I keep in my heart, I met in interesting times... again, when it mattered.

A few of the old remained, and the new ones have become or seem like old ones. Sadly, some of the old ones are strangers in my eyes. I do not know them, nor their passion, nor their wits. I don't know what they fancy and abhor. I don't know their story anymore.

But here's to all of you, who made my life worthwhile. We have a lifetime to enjoy each other's company!!!

Chunky Monkey aka PawPaw is now three months old! What a journey it has been with you my little one. You've grown a lot! You babble and smile... and still whine most of the time. I wish you'd outgrow the nasty reflux so you'd be happy as a bee. You know you melt my heart. You got me big time!

Heat is On!

Summer here we come!

Of Food and Friendships

There are so many things to say about friends, with friends, over food. Yes, food! Ah, lovely! High tea with pastries that could send you to heaven and back, laughter, and fun...

Every time I gab my way through the phone (despite hurting my neck because I don't have a headset), I imagine that I am sitting with the person I am speaking with. I visualize how she laughs, her gestures, her eyes, and her presence.

But of course it sounds strange because as I am holding the phone in between my ears and shoulders, I am also either doing laundry, mopping the floor, cooking, washing the dishes, bathing my babies... get the picture? The thing is I can't live with my thoughts while doing chores. I need something else to do. And I can't just be on the phone, I'd be guilty as hell if I just sit idly.

So, why food? Because almost always my conversations would center on food -- what I'm cooking, what I'm eating, what I plan to eat, what I'd like to eat, the food I'm allergic to, the recipes, and etc. And there is this unexplainable comfort that binds my friends over food... it is always about food.

My wish is to gather them in my kitchen, have a cookfest, savour the meal as well as their company.

Midnight, I was roasting chicken after I baked banana bread and my only wish is to have someone to share a meal with hahay!

Entertaining

Life has been fussy, worrisome, and yet it's still magical and wonderful! There are still things to worry, things that matters. Yet, I know and I believe things will just fall into its place. The universe always has a way of making us laugh and cry. On the other hand, I am very grateful for my boys. The ones who live with me, who make my day crazy happy. Yes, the world is a stage indeed hehehe!

It has become less boring and less lonely in my nook. I have met all the neighbours in our street, there are only five households here -- two Indian (South Asian) families, one Armenian, one American couple, and us. Around the corner are Indians, Chinese, Ukrainian, and who knows pa... quite diverse universe =)

My little boy now bikes with our next door neighbours. It is so much fun and cute that they ring each other's door bells in the afternoon when it's time to play until the sun goes down hehehe!!! Brings a sense of normalcy in their childhood! I also go out and chitchat with the moms... isn't it awesome?

Well okay, this week has been entertaining and eventful! Hope yours as well will be...

Be Like The Donkey

"Once upon a time in ancient China, the people at a village received orders from the regional governor to build a shrine for the emperor. If they could meet the deadline, the governor would reward them handsomely.

"The chosen location for the shrine had a well, so they needed to fill it up before construction could take place. They brought in a donkey to transport piles of sand and mud for that purpose.

"An accident occurred. The donkey got too close to the exposed well, lost his footing, and fell into it. The villagers tried to lift him out but could not. After many failed attempts, they realized it would take too long to rescue him.

"Keeping the deadline in mind, the villagers decided to sacrifice the donkey. They proceeded to shovel sand and mud into the well, thinking they had no choice but to bury him alive.

"When the donkey realized what they were doing, he began to wail pitifully. The villagers heard him but ignored him. The value of the donkey wasn't much compared to the rewards they would get, so they continued to shovel.

"After a while, the wailing stopped. The villagers wondered about this. Was the donkey dead already? Or did he just give up? What was going on?

"Curious, they looked into the well. A surprising sight greeted them. The donkey was alive and well. When the mud and sand rained down on him, he shrugged them off, and then stamped around until they were tightly packed below him. This formed solid ground that lifted him a bit higher each time.

"Eventually, the donkey got high enough inside the well. With one powerful leap, he jumped out of it. Amazed, the villagers watched as he trotted off with his head held high.

"When we get in trouble and the sand and mud of daily problems are failing upon us, wailing is of no help. The best thing in the midst of adversity is to take action. We can make use of trouble and find a way out that in the long run strengthens us. This Taoist teaching story gives us hope that we can cope with the bad things that happen to us." - The Tao of Daily Life by Derek Lin

Grateful and Honored

"Langga, you are my miracle. Thank you for all your doing and your being. - Dad

We are thankful. - 3 boys under the tree"

Being thanked, acknowledged, and appreciated just because... for no particular occasion is amazing. I was so flattered to received an e-card from my husband. Just when I felt like crap not being able to do everything that I needed to do, and looking crap myself... I get this. It's a sweet reminder that I am loved and adored and that should be more than wonderful.

How often do you thank and show your appreciation to other people who have made a difference in your life?

Mama

He calls me Mama, err he cries for Mama... I assume he called for me, his slave. This little guy has got me wrapped around his little fingers. The moment he was born, I grew another heart solely for him. And that explains why there are nothing much to share from my kitchen LOL!

Rocking the Cradle

Celebrating all mom friends out there... you are in my thoughts, in my prayers... I hope that this weekend may we be rejuvenated and feel a lot more special... because we deserve it! The picture above is a promo material I made for my baby, Kusina Habana. I chose to make it like a personal greeting card for moms. I wonder if it is obvious though. This pretty much sums up my life lately, being mom and entrepreneur (slowly coming out of my maternity leave hehehe!).

Wishlist 2010

The universe has blessed me with a lot of wonderful experiences, people, and more! This year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy!!! But there are things that I wish would have come when they opened me up LOL! Since I didn't actually updated this wish list last year, might as well do it now before I forget. Otherwise, the universe may think I have stopped hoping nyehehehe!

• To live a healthy and balanced lifestyle -- eat right, exercise, work, play, pray, and be merry -- my triglycerides have gone up (again). Perhaps. I ate too much for my own good while pregnant huh!
• Learn how to drive, get a license, and hit the roads!!! -- Got my learner's permit already, about to practice with my instructor and hopefully pass the practicals before fall.
  
• Be more structured with my thoughts and actions, implement plans, execute them well... diligently and lovingly, consciously offering up every moment to our Lord -- a new baby makes it more challenging, so good luck with that!
• A little more patience won't hurt, be more cheerful and less screaming -- learn the ways of the TAO!
• Love house chores, there is no other way to it (unless...) -- no choice!
• Study, explore, develop more possibilities and opportunities for the business(es) -- trying to stay afloat. SIGH!
• Get a new hairstyle! -- not really! I prefer this length just past my shoulder so I can pony it any time!
• Finish the paint projects i've left behind -- before my husband gets tired of me not being able to finish it. I also want to paint our bathroom and the kids room =)
  

And these are my wishes, hopefully I will be able to cross everything out before 2009 ends:

• a D90 and the whatzit galore that comes with it - I SHOULD HAVE THIS NEXT YEAR!
• a powerful food processor
• dessert tray
• panini maker
• a tea set -- need to find something that doesn't have too much "frill"
• mini van - but i'd settle with anything with wheels!
• a pastry shop
• knee high boots
• test kitchen cookbooks
• tankinis
• red dress LOL
• yoga pants
• sports bra
• running shoes
• more friends...
• more businesses...
• spend christmas in cebu!!!

Make That A Double Three

Dad's poem inspired by the verses of Lao Tzu

Oh to be thirty three and grateful! This life is truly beautiful!!! My friends have spoiled me rotten, and I got this family who adores and loves me to bits. There are more than a million things to be thankful for this lovely year!

Akio's wonderful song hehehe! One lazy rainy and windy afternoon,

I spent my birthday with this young man singing karaoke at home =)

Pretty Much

Pretty much summarizes how my days go by... I think I need more than twenty four hours a day and perhaps four more hands and a spare body. But alas, I can never have those! So I make do with the little boys who make me crazy happy!

My Little Triker

Our Akio is participating in a program to raise money to help St. Jude Children's Research Hospital find new treatments for cancer, sickle cell and other diseases. You too can help St. Jude continue its life-saving work against pediatric diseases with your donation. Click here to make a donation. Thanks! =)

Tickled Pink

Thank you so much for making her feel so loved! Boy, was she surprised hehehe!!!

Drowning

I'm swimming in my thoughts again, rather drowning. One of those lull moments despite the many chores and list of things to do... and yet I find myself kicking back and wasting so much time. Perhaps my brain is still really thawing. I am at my breaking point and my body is refusing to be an autobot any longer.

I have made quite a good plan for the entire week but perhaps only ticked off one or two items out of it. And if you manage household, you know that once you stop for a day it just gets worse. No one will pick up after me and chores will never end! It just piles up.

Am I complaining? No. I am stating a fact. Today and today, I am crazy lazy. I'm burnt out. Fried.

Kuya

He is doting and very sweet...

how did I get so lucky?

The Office

I forgot this very important tale from my kitchen to yours... KH is now open for business at Gorordo Ave, Cebu City! Yes, we are in the city! Yay! It's right across CIC Lahug, beside Jollibee. Please come visit =)

Oh Baby

Today, he is six weeks old. How time flies! However, my brain is still on maternity leave. A few parts must have been fried with the anaesthesia and narcotics I have had during labor, delivery, and recovery. No exciting tales from my kitchen so far, except that this little king in my life has been doing pretty well with his job!

***

I am looking forward to our first trip as a family of four... crossing my fingers that all will go well =)

Vacation

If only Dad works from home... we'd all love that!

My Boys. My World

It's going to be a wonderful ride from hereon. Two little boys in the house, happy chaos, fun, and sweetness. Feels great to be adored by wonderful men hehehe! I wonder what awaits when little munchkin grows up...

Amazing how these two look alike... can you tell them apart?

Next month, I will be a year older and couldn't be more excited. My husband and I are planning to throw a thanksgiving party to our dearest friends here who have showered us with love, prayers, gifts, and support during my pregnancy and childbirth. It will also mark our little munchkin's second month, and with the ordeal that we went through it is but quite apt to celebrate life, love, family, and friends!

To the more exciting whims of the heart, I wish to get these for myself as I head on to a colorful journey of being mom twice over! Hehehe!!!

• Nars blush (orgasm)
• MAC Studio Fix Powder (NC34)
• Smashbox O' Gloss
• Eyeshadows (earth tones)
• Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue perfume
• Clinique Happy perfume
• A trip to the SPA - manicure, pedicure, wax, massage, facial, hair treatment (THE WORKS!)
• Dinner date with my husband

I just thought I need to replenish my make-up kit. I somewhat miss my big red caboodle with an entire set of Estee Lauder's whatnots! But unfortunately, I could only ask Santa once a year hehehe!

Got to write these down before my brain betrays me... sleep deprivation does that to me... spit and poop reminds me that I should not let myself go! And oh, may I also have a trimmer waistline (2-3 inches off would be lovely LOL!)

Just Because

"I knew the minute I saw her that she had Down Syndrome and nobody else did. I held her and cried. Cried and panned the room to meet eyes with anyone that would tell me she didn't have it. I held her and looked at her like she wasn't my baby and tried to take it in. And all I can remember of these moments is her face. I will never forget my daughter in my arms, opening her eyes over and over ... she locked eyes with mine and stared ... bore holes into my soul.

Love me. Love me. I'm not what you expected, but oh, please love me." - Kelle Hampton

***

I am bawling at the middle of the night just because I read this while browsing through my emails. The wonder and joys of motherhood is truly a blessing. One cannot really fathom how much love a mother can feel... and the words above just got to me. The rigour of my second childbirth is still very fresh, not to mention my wound. The fact that my little bambino came out safe and healthy for a premie means a lot to me! I look at him and he's this fragile being hungry for my love and affection. I grew another heart solely just for him.

Why am I crying? I am a mother. I know.

***

Just one of those nights... when crying proves to be the healthier option. I had a grand time sleeping in late in the afternoon because my husband was home to take care of the boys. It was snowing and I asked him to work from home. The last thing I want to do is worry if he's safe in the highways. Oh well, it wasn't that nasty today compared to last night, but he was home all right!

Right before bedtime, I snuggled and tickled with my big baby. I brushed his teeth, washed his face, massaged him with his lotion, and put on his sleeping clothes. I wanted to cry because this was just I was doing before, taking care of only him. Now, he's all big and smart (and my little helper too). Sometimes I feel guilty. I get lost in my own world, trying to recover, making sense of the world when I am sleep deprived, and too irritable to be bothered. His world has become so magical lately, but his babbles do get into my nerves especially when I just want peace and quiet. Oh I miss him! And so I made it up... I snuggled with him until he went to sleep.

My little boys are in the same room now, the biggest one had to sleep in the other room because he has to work tomorrow. It's quite a change, my husband usually sleeps soundly and now when baby shrieks he just wakes up! Ah, love!

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Sometimes I wish everything will all be wonderful and beautiful! Then again, it's all up to me.