Breakfast:
three pieces of lindt white chocolate truffles

Lunch:
four cheese pizza (I am addicted to CPK's frozen pizza!)
orangeade

Snacks:
coffee with cream and sugar

Dinner:
pan grilled pork chops
rice
soda (na hala kalami ba ani!)
banana (at least healthy ang dessert hehehe!)

Exercise:
running errands

The Curse That Is EVE!

This is bad! I woke up with a very a bad sore throat and barely breathing nostrils. I had a long list for my to dos today... much more so accomplishing lots of things before 2009 comes. More like my personal superstitions to have everything immaculate in the house which I guess will never happen. Good luck with the sniffles and the sneezing!

Oh the warming liquid Theraflu helped. It felt magical after sipping this tiny cup of wonder. I feel alive because I was able to breathe. But now my nose is dripping involuntarily. Eew! How am I going to manage myself in the kitchen? I have prepared a menu too! Nobody and nothing should ruin my eve plans.

And the curse that is called eve jitters. Last Christmas I planned for our family to attend mass at nine in the evening and I prepare a Filipiniana feast! Tough luck! Just as we are about to get ready for mass I was frequenting the toilet more often than required and whimpering because of stomach pains. GRRRRRRRRRRR! At least we had sinigang and lechon kawali for dinner, maja blanca and bico. But really I wanted to make bam-i and banana cue... sagdi nalang!

Now, I want to get going but I am tired. Theraflu knocked me out. So pardon the gibberish and lousy excuse for a blog. I will sleep for a couple hours and once I wake up I will do all these:

• CLEAN the kitchen, I know.... I always need to clean it! SIGH!
• marinate the ham and chicken, hopefully the frozen bird will thaw in time
• tidy the sala -- dust, mop, and whatnot
• finish the laundry room -- I almost there, hopefully 2009 will be a better battleground for me and this chore!
• fix my tiny office nook...
• all I can think about is clean some more! ENOUGH of that.
• contemplate on whether to make special cupcakes for the little one or not, we'll see

Okay, that should be more than enough! Happy New Year everyone!!!!!!

After a wonderful 2008, I thought it would be better to set my goals for the coming new year:

• to live a healthy and balanced lifestyle -- eat right, exercise, work, play, pray, and be merry
• learn how to drive, get a license, and hit the roads!!!
  
• be more structured with my thoughts and actions, implement plans, execute them well... diligently and lovingly, consciously offering up every moment to our Lord
• a little more patience won't hurt, be more cheerful and less screaming
• love house chores, there is no other way to it (unless...)
• study, explore, develop more possibilities and opportunities for the business(es)
• get a new hairstyle!
• finish the paint projects i've left behind
  

And these are my wishes, hopefully I will be able to cross everything out before 2009 ends:

• a D90 and the whatzit galore that comes with it (hopefully i can afford it!)
• a powerful food processor
• dessert tray
• honda crv or pilot (bwehehehe!)
• a pastry shop
• knee high boots
• test kitchen cookbooks
• curling iron
• new set of perfume
  
• pedicures, facials, body massages (ah the works!)
• tankinis
• more projects...
  
• more friends...
• more businesses...
• spend christmas in cebu!!!
• and a wish i secretly wish for now... ;-
  

Cut Throat

The husband has been sick since Boxing Day (I am adapting this holiday to distinguish it from the Black Friday sale here)...

He has flu like symptoms and boy I never wish for him to be sick again. The poor guy had to drive himself to the doctor. If only I could, I would, I promise. I asked our friend Carine to drive him to the clinic but he said he's fine.

He woke up at four in the morning with chills and a very high fever at 103F (39.4C)! It's crazy. I don't know what else to do. I was scared of the complications of flu.

He is on antibiotics now. Apparently he has a throat infection. I wonder where he got this. Could be because we went to the hospital a couple days before Christmas day. Oh the germs, is merry making this holiday season!!!

Stay healthy and warm you guys =)

Food Log: 12.29.2008

Brunch:
Noodles
Orangeade (freshly squeezed oranges, sugar, water)

Snacks:
Leftover bico (about a tablespoon hehehe!)
Orangeade w/Sprite (bad!)

Dinner:
siomai (uh-oh)
fishcake soup w/spinach
a few spoonfuls of rice (can't resist this one w/siomai!)
orangeade

Midnight Snack (I stayed up late, BAD!):
leftover spaghetti w/meatballs
orangeade

Exercise: A BIG NOTHING!

dear mommy

From PreSchooler

dear mommy,

please be patient with me. i really don't like it when you're mad at me. i want to play with you all the time. i also want to help you, if you'd let me. sorry for the spills, i thought i was cleaning it.

i wish you'd learn how to make paper airplanes the way daddy does. i keep teaching you how to do it but you never listen.

please don't force me to eat. busog me.

i like my bedroom, thank you. i want to paint a sky and the island of sodor on the walls, okay? are you listening to me? hah?

your little boy,
AKIO

caroling

From Santa 2008

Here is my little one... his carols bring joy to my heart.

Today, he gave me a back rub. I dozed off in an instant. I asked him to walk on my back and he found it funny. He thought we were playing a game.

I am inspired by my friend Emma who posted the loot she got this Christmas. I might as well do the same, otherwise I will be charged as ungrateful hehehe!!!

• a laptop from Mark!!!
• a blowdryer and a sleeper shirt from Santa ;-)
• tin canister for flour, etc from Santa ;-)
  
• lipgloss, PJ set and slippers from Lynette
• a coach purse from Ayen
• philosophy lip gelato from Siroy
• passport sleeve from Normita
• snow globe fridge magnet and notepad magnet from Chelo & Adrian
  
• cake stand/chips and dip platter from Gracel & Deniz
  
• fondue set from Tita Wilma & Tito Caloy
  
• gift card and check from Tita Marlene & Tito Bart
• bedsheet from Tita Elisa
• a wedding anniversary blessing from Tita Linda & Tito Caloy
• DVD from Rem & Mark
• wine glasses from Fatima & Jonathan
• canopy and bowl set from Carine & Adrian
• wine and bowl from Sis Jean
• Maggiano gift check from Terry (Mark's boss)
  
• surprises I can't wait to open from Pat
• greeting cards from Rizzy, Sari, Tita Jessie, Tita Jojie, Tita Lou, Tita Wi, Jopie, Ace, Lynette, Mimi, Chelo, Chichi, Normita, Rem, Ayen, Ryan, Florendo, Fatima, Peruch, Tita Marlene... and their families.
• fifth wonderful anniversary celebration
  
• and lots of LOVE from my friends and family!

Care to share yours? =)

Friendster

I got myself to organize my photo albums in friendster. I know! It is too much of a bore. I can't upload more than 2MB pics! But I realized I have to update it because some of my friends are camping grounds there. I made it especially for Iris. Hope she gets to see how we all are here in Colorado. We miss her and her family! We pray that her pregnancy with baby Lukas will be safe, healthy, and happy.

The Year That Was

I packed my bags along with my son on an adventure to Cebu. I stayed there for about nine months to pursue a dream and establish a nest egg for our family in the future. It was tough to do everything myself, a lot of decisions have to be made and whatnots. Luckily I have my sibs with me who worked with me to make everything a reality. Now they are part of this great dream as well, and I'm very happy to have them on board. Choosing a house on the other hand is tough, I needed space, I have limited budget and time, I don't like to be bound by homeowner's association rules and the likes, and it has to be something that my spouse would like to (this remains to be seen hehehe!!!)

***

I have forged new friendships and rekindled old ones. I am happy to be able to spend a lot of time with them while I was in Cebu. I wish they are all close by.

***

I finally lost a few nagging inches around my waist and a couple pounds that have been glued to me since I gave birth. It took three years but I am happy! Next time, I should know better. No more wallowing over weight and waist but healthy diet and exercise.

***

My son is now three years and four months old, partially potty trained. Since Christmas there have been no accidents. I hope this is the start of a diaper free household. I am crossing my fingers he would not be a bed-wetter like I was.

He can read phonetics now and can read and spell his name (depending on his mood). He can scribble and draw, thankfully not yet on walls.

He now sleeps in his own room and have become more independent. A joyous milestone which makes me sad at the same time. My baby has grown!

***

We renewed our vows (twice), well we don't like to count the first one on Nov 30. It was a mass renewal with other couples. We are selfish and we want to have our moment on our day. We had it exactly the same day, date, and time five years ago. It was truly solemn and meaningful. I am praying for more amazing and mind blowing adventures in the years to come. We're hoping we could reach our diamond anniversary hahahaha!!!

***

It has been a lovely 2008! I can't wait for the surprises that awaits me next year =)

I haven't been logging in because since Thanksgiving all I've had were caloric, fatty, and more. I haven't been exercising too...

And so today, I am revisiting my food log in the hope of eating healthy and start the new year right.

***

Breakfast:
scrambled eggs and ham
coffee with cream and sugar

Lunch:
ultimate fajita (pulled pork, grilled chicken, steak, vegetables), lime sauce, sour cream
iced tea
tortilla soup

Snack:
margarita pizza
fresca (citrus soda)

Dinner:
leftover fajita
water

Exercise:
cleaned the car! wohoo!

My Quirks and My Beautiful Mind

We all have quirks. I think these are what makes us special. I was talking to Chichi in Facebook and realized I really have a lot to deal with myself:

• I need to take a shower before going to bed. Before I got married I'd sprinkle my bed with my favorite baby cologne. I want my bedsheets and pillows to smell clean and fresh always, always.
• I always have a list. I have a lot of list. I usually forward plan my life.
  
• If possible I want things labeled, categorized, arranged neatly. But it's hard to this here when my mind wanders more than it should daily. I wish I can accomplish what my mind wants me to do.
• I cannot think nor sleep with chaos. Clutter affects my mood. The more I clean, the happier I am. But I am lazy so less cleaning, more craziness in this house! I have to settle with a threshold, chaos that would not last a week tops!!! Otherwise, I'd be screaming my head off and would become a threat to society.
• I wish I am superwoman so I can do things consistently, daily, with great fervor and love... but I am Mrs. Do-It-When-You-Feel-Like-It! My control freak mind is at war with my free spirited body! Perhaps I should just dial the mental institution now hahaha!!!
• There are a million thoughts racing per second, that's pretty normal. I can't concentrate on just one thought. If you know an impulsive buyer, I am an impulsive doer. If that's my thought for that moment I should do it right there and then... despite the schedule I've made. I need to learn how to let go of this compulsion it destroys the things I want... which drives me nuts at the end of the day.
• I need to be on the phone while I do my chores. Otherwise, what a bore it would be to just do a chore one at a time! The TV should be on, I am online in case someone buzzes me, I am cooking dinner, I am washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, doing the laundry, and well playing with my son... I even found myself reading a book in between... this drives other people mad but I live on this. I can't be left alone with just one thought and one chore, that would be the death of me.
• I don't like to change diapers! I am foregoing my plans of opening a daycare service. Shit makes my life a living hell!!! I am very happy that since Christmas my son has been very consistent doing his thing in the potty... (the stench of poop is enough to raise my blood pressure and I'm not kidding)
• The bathroom needs to be tidy ALWAYS, always!!! Hahaha!!! I am always HIGH when the bathroom is clean and smelling fresh... I get pissed with piss all over the floor, with watermarks on the mirror and on the sink.
• I NEED A MAID! Perhaps weekly to do the cleaning and laundry for me... if only. Maypa uli ko uy!

I am sure I missed out on other stuffs... care to share yours?

Make a Smilebox greeting

Our Little Big Boy

He now sleeps in his own room. Yey! Two nights in a row... it's good to claim our bedroom back but at the same time we felt guilty to leave him in his room alone. With his sweet plea and doe eyes, he asked if we would like to sleep with him...

"Mommy, you want to sleep with me?" It tugs the heart but he has to learn...

No shrieking, no tantrums. He slept through the night peacefully as we spent the night watching Chronicles of Narnia: Prince of Caspian.

This morning he ran to our room "Daddy, I'm awake! Good morning Mommy!"

Oh our little boy has grown up just like that.

Slept at around four in the morning. We had to fix the little one's room hoping this would encourage him to sleep by himself. Dad set up his Thomas the Train tracks while I posted Thomas and Friends stickers on his wall. We also pasted a Disney Cars poster on his door. His linens are made of trucks for construction. It's a boy's room after all! His ceiling fan blades has blue with stars sleeves... it's a very confused room hehehe!!!

***

Had to wake up early to attend mass. We missed the midnight mass. I was about to change when a very unfortunate thing happened between me and my stomach!

Almost in panic, as I prepared spaghetti with meatballs, grape and broccoli salad... need to get things ready before Church.

We brought Christmas lunch to the Porpio Family. Carine and her clan joined us too, she brought bico and fruit salad. On our way there I grabbed roasted chicken from King Sooper's. Mark brought our leftover Reisling.

***

Last night, my noche buena plan felt like a disaster. The table was not set. Mark and I exchanged gifts in the midst of the christmas cards frenzy... yes, we haven't mailed ours. We sent out the gifts first and forgot about the cards which was supposedly ready after Thanksgiving. BIG SIGH!

Finally, I have a blow dryer... no more frozen brain when I'm outdoors.

Salamat!

It's quite overwhelming to get greeting cards from all over the world...when you are remembered by your friends and family... despite this looming economic drama... when presents brighten up your most sullen mood... when your husband goes out past midnight just to grab groceries...and does last minute shopping just because, even if he already gave me a laptop a couple months ago...

Thank you!

This year has been truly great and wonderful. May it be more wonderful and fruitful in the coming years =)

***

An intimate noche buena -- green tea cake and wine, while watching Christmas mass officiated by Pope Benedict. Oh I can't wait to see the little one's face tomorrow morning! He has been waiting for Christmas patiently. He even went to the big potty just to make sure Santa will come visit him...

***

Tomorrow, we're having lunch at the Porpios to welcome Baby Luke =)

A Doula

Tonight, I am Fatima's doula. She gave birth to baby Luke -- bouncing baby boy who turns beet red as he screams without cares -- this afternoon. When we visited her she was alone with the baby. Her husband had to go home because their eldest daughter is having fever due to an ear infection. Poor thing! I just can't let her be alone tonight.

From Drop Box

I've been there, I've given birth. I've been left alone in the hospital (Mark had to run errands). I know what it's like to be without family in this country. I know how painful and crazy it is after giving birth. There are things that a nurse just could not comfort.

And so tonight I am a doula and proud of it =)

***

Baby Luke is a precious bundle of joy for all of us this Christmas. We plan to celebrate the special day with them. I will be the cooking doula and my little family will be like the three magi bringing gifts and good cheer hehehe! Can't wait...

***

There are certain joys, pure joys, like this one... indescribable. I held the baby close to me while his mother took cat naps. I miss that. I wonder if this holiday season turns out to be fruitful for my little family hehehe! I am secretly wishing... praying... infanticipating...

One of the many things to be thankful for this season is our immigration petition. We just got notice from the lawyer's office that it has just been approved. That was quick considering we just submitted all our documents two weeks ago. Now, we wait for our immigrant status.

***

Two days to go before Christmas Eve and I am giddy like a little girl. I can't wait to celebrate our first noche buena together hehehe! Santa and Mrs. Claus will be busy as soon as the little elf goes to bed...

***

Merry Christmas!

December 19th

I DO!

"no trace of sadness, always with gladness... I DO!"

Maayong Pasko =)

High Five!

just recently, taken by the little one

We have come a long way my love!
May God bless us with more wonderful years together...
May we continue to love each other more and more every day...
May we always be strong, faithful, and respectful of each other always, always.
May we stay like the 16 years old we once were, sweet and passionate...
May we hold on to the promises we made for each other.
May we grow old gracefully together still holding each other's hands...
May our lifetime be a great legacy to our children and grandchildren...
I am very very happy and proud to be married to you...
And I'm saying I do (again) tomorrow, until death do us part =)

sleeping soundly w/little dolphin

You are the little one, I should know better. But sometimes you need to learn, you need to toughen up because the world is crazy and it may be crazier when you're all grown up. I feel terrible always when I have to punish you. I feel worse when I get mad at you. I feel sad every time you whimper. But you have to stay in your corner for a few more minutes. There is no other way of teaching you. I have regretted the times when I spanked you. There is no justification for that, so for now the corner should do it. May you get a clue and grow up to be a fine young boy. I pray you'd get the hang of going to the potty when you need to, I can't be wiping your bumbum your entire life.

Please little one don't be sad anymore. Santa will be coming soon...

Mr. Postman

making cards for his grandparents

Finally the parcels are ready, waiting to be picked up by the postman. I hope this gets to our friends in time before Christmas next week. As to the greeting cards bound overseas, I'd be happy if it makes it before Sinulog hahaha!!!

Now our tree is barren, the gifts are inside the shipping boxes. Only a few are left... mostly these are the little one's presents from our friends here and a few giveaways for our guests this Friday.

Are you ready for Christmas?

Infanticipating

Fatima, Rica, and Me. Sisters in Christ.
(Fatima's Baby Shower from CFC)

It was nice to have the Porpios here last night. It's quite ironic that my about-to-pop-a-baby friend comes here to drop some gifts on a very bitter cold night. I miss small get togethers just like that, we used to have it often last year. I made meatball soup with spinach and mushroom, Fatima brought tilapia with tofu and cilantro. It was fun to catch up with our couple friends...

Our kids had a blast too! They watched Wall-E together, now Diego and Dora are Wall-E and EVA. They had dinner at my son's little table hehehe! They ran around the house playing tag and whatnots. Oh their giggles made the house warm and festive!

And so we discussed about the upcoming baby... how arduous it would be to be trapped in the snow on the way to the hospital. The battery could just die in the cold, etc. Then the husband shared something about his boss' experience a few years ago... he had to stop a snow mower in the high way just to help him clear his driveway because his wife is in labor! Woh! This was mainly why I don't want to give birth on a winter time.

But this isn't about winter, it's about having friends over. It lifted my spirits up. And somehow convinced me that it's okay to have another one. It won't be that bad just as long I get pregnant SOON! Hehehe!

I made a little whisper to God before I slept. I realized I never really asked for Leiko from him. I hope he grants this little Christmas wish... and if my calculations are correct Leiko will share her dad's birthday on September (and Mai's too!) hehehe ;-)

Pure and Personal

Yes, I take things personally. Almost always, I guess. I have never thought of myself to be very sensitive but I am. I hurt easily, although it doesn't show most of the times. I usually just forget about things, especially the little nasty ones. But I hurt and I don't forgive.

***

There are too many distractions. Too many thoughts. Too many chores. Too many conversations. Too many plans. It's overwhelming. My head is about to burst. There are bouts of migraines this past week. It must be stress, it must be the weather.

***

I don't to give birth on a winter time... imagine the horror of the hub still shoveling snow when I'm in labor? And who will attend my child's birthday parties on a snow storm? Argh, crazy thought.

***

A lot of disappointments this week, nothing major but still maddening. There are so many pressures for things to work out the way I want it to be.

***

It ended happily. Our house is a cosy home now. I can't wait to have guests over. Oh darn, four more days and I'm going to sweat out my stuff in the kitchen!

I'm Going to Indy!

YAHOOOOOOO! Booked my flight (and the little one's, of course!) for January. I didn't expect flights would be that affordable! Two weeks at Lynette's! I'm going to meet Cyrille, Ace and Ethan (I wonder if Gus would tag along), Monina (we'll see), Tita Lou and Tita Wi (and hopefully Fr. Sunny). Oh what a wonderful start for the new year!!!

It's a big Christmas gift my dearest ;-)

Already dreaming of baking cupcakes with Lyly and making choco balls for you =D

Happy Birthday Jane!

May you celebrate this year with grins and chuckles...
You keep that spunk!

SOLITUDE

:SOLITUDE:
we are a tiny speck in this universe, but we matter

JOY

J.O.Y.

you need to stop and smell happiness
you need to breathe and taste ecstasy
take a break and smile...

(Denver Museum of Nature and Science, 07 Dec 2008)

Downtown Denver, view from the Museum of Nature and Science.

The Museum

The Denver Museum of Nature and Science was free for all last Sunday (except for the IMAX theatre)... it's a welcome treat for our family to go out on weekends without having to shell out a lot of money.


Akio had a blast looking at dinosaurs, although scared to his wits when he hears them roars and if he sees a mascot dino walking towards him.

All I Want...

I know it's kinda late to be wishing something like this for the holidays. But who knows? Oh well... Santa already gave me my early present. So I better shut my mouth and pray this one would be more affordable for next Christmas or perhaps for my birthday!!!

I am itching to take photos again. Can't wait to have my CS3 working... I am envious of my fabulous supergirls who are clicking their dreams into reality.

I am no longer satisfied and contented with my point and shoot. It's boring. SIGH! Maybe I will sell this together with our videocamera hahaha!!!

I am lusting over this D90. If only I can afford it. I have to focus my energy to getting this... I need to work hard(er)...

Barely Breathing

When it's cold outside, you feel the cold wind whipping your cheeks. You flush and chill. You stand still hoping for that warmth. A cup of coffee or warm milk. A long hot shower. A nice rub on the back...

Sometimes, you have to let yourself groove with time. Without cares. Without worries. Dancing like mad. Twirl and spin until you're dizzy...

We need to stop. To pray. To think. To give thanks. We will still be breathing...

There is no chaos without our imagination. The mind is powerful. It controls my universe. I need to get past this...

The year is about to end, I am melancholic.

Goodnight moon.

December Fever

It's the holiday frenzy and the little one that keeps me going like a mad Christmas police! This is our second year of lighting the advent wreath. It helps us explain to the little one what 'advent' is all about... it's his non-stop plea to Santa about his toy car... so we told him Santa will bring his gift once we light all the five candles. Hehehe!!!

I am almost done wrapping the presents we have for our circle here in North America. Some I have sent already, some I need to shop for... the cards are still lying around my desk waiting for me to lick stamps on it. I don't even have the mailing addresses of the rest! SIGH!

Anyhoo, having a little elf around surely makes this season even brighter. He was so happy to put all the gifts under the tree. To my surprise, he arranged it like a little Santa! He doesn't want me to call him an elf but instead little Santa... my Santa indeed. Does he know he was our little miracle four Christmases ago? (That was the time when I skipped preparing for noche buena because pregnancy got the best of me... I never knew how to sleep that soundly before in my life!)

And so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety two.... (please note that this is one of my favorite holiday song)

May your holidays be brighter this year and your new year be spectacular!

Star-Strucked!

I wanted to slap my face real hard for not being quick in the shower. I was waiting for Siroy to drop by the house, as she promised. Jane and I planned to have a video conference once Siroy arrives, but I just had to leave my PC for awhile... GRRR!!!! (Lami kayo hot shower, dugay ko niundang... ug wa ko gibuyag ko ni Mark na mahal ang tubig!)

Little did I know she was with her entire family! My sibs were too excited that a celebrity graced our humble home with her presence! They were so happy!!! I swear, it made them grin like silly... yagit pa gyud kaayo sila hahaha!!! I haven't met Dionne yet suya ko!

Last night I had a voice conference with V and Arlene. It felt like we were just together in one nook just how it used to be more than five years ago. I love them to bits. These girls keep me grounded. They know how lazy I can be and how oddly nocturnal I am. It was fun, I miss them.

***

I made a new yahoogroups for my college chums. It's amazing what technology can do. How mundane things can be discussed oh so passionately, i.e. dark armpits, growing bellies, and twilight. But these whatnots under the sun used to make our days before. Oh how young and carefree we were. Now, we're adults living our lives. Yet still are the best of friends. If only I can be there for Karren's shower and wedding...

***

Siroy went to the house! I feel honored. I want to cry because I wish I were there. There are just some things I want to do around my super girls. They know who they are and what they are to me. Bare naked soul, neuroses, paranoia, and psychosis... I can cry my heart out without them judging me because well I think they are more dramatic than I am hahaha!!!

***

My sisters went partying last night. They deserve it! They've been working so hard. I am glad they are happy with the little Christmas token we gave them. I can't wait to hear what happened.

***

Talking to Ayen, texting Lynette (sometimes talking to her for a few seconds), talking to Fil on her days off, a long conversation about my lifestory with Chelo, and chatting with Bevs & Drew made me feel like I belong... to a world bigger than where I am. That whenever it's about my 'crazy' time, I could always seek comfort with my friends.

***

This winter and Christmas is making my heart throb. You're right Jops, we'll just stop thinking about it... because being here sometimes is really sad. I miss the daygon and the manito-manita, the exchanging gifts, potlucks, and a series of (never ending) holiday parties.

***

Now let me get down to finishing my duties as the Santa in this household...

When It Gets The Best Of You!

I wander around with my thoughts. This weekend is great! It's sunny and warm(er). If you experience a 5F anything above that is warm! I'm surely not talking about the weather here, but the mood swings that made my world go mad.

Sometimes, things and people get the best out of me. There are certain instruments of this universe that suck out my energy (literally and figuratively). Some are bad elements that can undo a very happy mode. The sight of a few makes me sick to my stomach. I think I will choose which waters to tread on, the people to deal with, and the fights worth fighting for.

A lot of things are stressful enough. I am tired. I wish I can delete a lot of mistakes. Christmas should be a good reason to. The New Year even promises a new beginning... if only it could be that easy...

I may not make sense. I may just be premenstrual (oh that lame excuse again) or just pissed with something or someone. Whatever it is, it's not about you. Just me and my loony.

Thank you for stopping by =)

Rock My World!

I could almost hear insanity rocking my world at several times. There are things that overwhelms me. There are things I wish I could do right away. There are people I wish to see and talk everyday. There are times when I just wanted to be by myself. But I am a whole bunch rolled into one piece here. I know I want to be busy, but not really crazy busy. I wanted to be busy to be not crazy.

And so when I got sucked in into my obsessions of doing things right and well, I have neglected to do other things that are basic of my existence. I failed to take care of myself.

There is really something wrong with the way I see things, the way I see myself. I am very harsh and very unforgiving. I am too mean to myself. Everything has to be done my way, my whims... otherwise, I'd be a failure. Otherwise, I'm as useless as stale meat.

How do I even begin to make a balancing act? I know a lot of women have done this. It's always tricky for mothers and wives. We can never stop fussing about other things. When there is work outside the household it doesn't make motherhood any easier. Marriage and relationships get shaken when the woman gets too busy. It's exhausting.

As much as I want to cry and console myself, what good will it do really? I'm glad he is very supportive. He will take on chores. But what chores am I wiling to relinquish to him? And there goes my obsession again...

Thank for paying attention.

Happy Birthday Zut!

Christmas Shopping

Can you shop for your entire list in just two hours? I just did! Bleh! Hahaha!!! I might have spent another couple more online for our beloved back home. Oh well, nalingaw ko!

Happy shopping everyone!

• Remember to make a list and check it more than twice.
  
• Then set a budget for each. Perhaps categorize your list into 'giveaways' and 'specials' that would help you set a budget! Hahahaha!
• Grab assorted stuffs, don't buy a 'generic' gift. Or if ever you want something 'generic' don't make it obvious. You'll be surprised there are so many gift sets and whatnots for this holidays in the shops and wallet friendly too!
• Try to grab something your beloved likes (ask for a wishlist), even on a tight budget you can surely give him/her wonderful.
  
• Wear comfortable shoes.
• Buy a pack of assorted cards. Make a list as well...
• Don't forget the wrapper (I bought mega rolls of assorted wrappers last year and got a couple more for this year), gift tags, and ribbons.
  
• Please avoid re-gifting. If you can't help it, don't make it too obvious. I re-gift only to my LOVEs because I can be honest to them hehehe!
• Again, don't splurge. Remember you're shopping not for yourself. (I found myself lusting over the items I got for the people in my list...)

Merry Christmas!

a very sinful weekend!

First the Thanksgiving and the leftovers, and then feasting out elsewhere! I don't remember exactly what I ate yesterday but I will try:

Brunch:
cheese bread w/butter (way lami! i only ate a few bites)
banana
milk tea

Early dinner:
tuna
mango salsa
grape juice

Evening snacks:
one loaf raisin bread
leftover turkey w/gravy
a handful of frosted cereal

***

Today, Sunday 11/30

Breakfast:
A whole lot of nothing! Had to do a mad dash to church...

Lunch:
Chinese buffet (no need to explain myself!)
kropek, grapes, fried chicken, veggie rolls, wonton soup, steamed chicken w/broccoli, honeydew lemon, iced tea
(I must say that I have been good considering it's a buffet!)

Dinner:
(had to order in from pizza hut)
cinnamon sticks
creamy pasta
buffalo wings

Exercise:
I shoveled snow!!! Kuyapan ko!

getting that christmas spirit back...

I haven't made my Christmas until two days ago. I felt that I had to. Thanksgiving kicks the holiday spirits off in this side of the world. We need to take advantage of the Black Friday sale. I need to mail a few stuffs by next weekend and cross my fingers they would make it on time. Otherwise, some greetings would be perfect for Sinulog! HAHAHA!

But it's not the sale nor the thanksgiving feast that got me on my feet about this holidays. It's my son! He's so excited about Christmas, Santa, baby God's birthday, his toy cars, the stockings and the tree, and the lights!!! He begged me to put up the tree. I would have procrastinated if it wasn't for him. (I told him about Santa giving away gifts underneath the tree on Christmas eve... and since then... oh well!)

And so I made my list, went shopping, wrote Christmas cards, and got excited about the holidays!

I wish we'd be spending it in Cebu though! SIGH!

Food Log: My Thanksgiving Confession

Brunch:
quesadilla
coffee

Thanksgiving FEAST:
chicken noodle soup
fish sticks
turkey w/gravy and cranberry sauce
chocolate cheesecake (lots of it!)
banana bread
fresca (a very very delicious soda! yay!)


***

Black Friday Indulgence

Brunch:
rice
turkey leftovers w/gravy
milk tea

Early Dinner:
Italian Sampler (chicken parmigiana, meat lasagna, fettucine alfredo)
gnocchi soup (YUMMY!) with bread sticks
toasted bread with artichoke spinach dip
tiramisu
raspberry iced tea

Evening Snacks:
haven't decided yet! hahaha!!!

Exercise: shopping for 2-3 hours ;-)

***

I don't how many kilo calories I've had but bleh it's the holidays!!!
LAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Happy Birthday Normita!

In honor of my wonderful photography enthusiasts, I will be attending a book (of photos) party next week with the husband. I wish one day soon we will be attending yours! (I will host the cocktails hahaha!!!)

I am looking forward to an afternoon by myself and an evening with him. My friend Carine will take care of the little one.

It's amazing how events like this can make my day!

Food Log: Nov. 26, 2008

Brunch:
One slice of raisin toast w/butter (good for the heart daw to!), coffee w/half&half and 2 sugars and a slice of ham

Snacks:
A couple of cinnamon sticks

Dinner:
(Mexican Hodge Podge)
Half flauta
A couple bites of grilled chicken
A cup of steamed veggies
Half empanada
A bite of an enchilada
A couple of sopaipilla for dessert (it was educational)
Iced tea w/2 sugars

Exercise:
A few steps around WalMart hahaha!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

May your family be blessed
and bountiful in the coming years!

Happy thanksgiving from my kitchen to yours...

***
Thanksgiving 2004. San Diego, CA. My very first turkey & thanksgiving!

Food Log: Nov 25, 2008

Breakfast: SLEEP!

Lunch: A little tuna salad and some crackers, iced chocolate milk

Snacks: Cheese crackers and banana

Dinner: Salmon in Oyser Sauce w/Sesame Oil, some rice, iced tea, iceberg lettuce w/grape tomatoes, parmesan cheese and asian dressing

Dessert: half of a pecan tart

Exercise: Housekeeping and putting up the tree!

The Devil and Miss Prym

I just finished reading this book last night. If you must know, I started reading this a month ago! It takes time for me to finish a book because I read them in installments while lulling my little one to bed. And there have been several nights when I got busy tinkering with Scarlett and quite a few desk works for my kitchen...

I must say that it's refreshing. I am amazed that I wasn't as bored with this like I was with The Alchemist (I don't remember what I've read nor did I even bother to finish it). Without pretensions, I am not a claimed book enthusiast. I just read whatever book it is thrown my way by my book fairies! Quite frankly I am amazed by most of my friends who know the upcoming books before it hit the shelves.

I am not much of an avid reader of fiction and whatnots. I am a very moody reader just like I am to almost everything that I do in life. It's surprising to have made lasting relationships with friends and with my husband! But yes, my taste in books is let's just say dependent on my book fairies again hahaha!!!

Oh, back to The Devil -- I got disappointed. I don't like it when I can tell what's going to happen in the end. I want to be surprised. This is like watching a movie when I almost always can predict who the killer is and who is going to die next. Grrrr! Perhaps my mind is the same as the authors and screenplays... if only I could write very eloquently. Blah!

And the lesson of the story is, we are all made up of good and evil. Don't we know that by now? =P

Food Log: Nov. 24, 2008

Breakfast: SLEEP!

Lunch: Leftover Thai Basil and a few spoonfuls of rice

Snacks: Pecan tartlets (in the spirit of thanksgiving)

Dinner: Shrimp in Garlic Butter (only one piece!)

Midnight Snacks: Salsa & Cream Cheese Crackers and a bowl of shrimp noodles

***
Exercise: Hula for about 20 minutes (di ko kabaw mosayaw! hahay!)

***

I have to stop wearing myself out the whole night. I prefer sleeping early and waking up early without having to drag my bottom and my eyebags with me. This morning, as soon as I packed Mark's lunch I went back to sleep in the couch. I didn't even say goodbye. I just want to sleep!

Breakfast:
quesadilla with guacamole and mango salsa
coffee with 2% milk and 2 sugars

Lunch:
shrimp tempura
vietnamese egg rolls
thai basil combination and some rice
iced lemon tea w/brown sugar

Dinner:
tuna salad w/crackers
water

Evening Snacks:
his leftover noodles about two spoonfuls blah!

NO EXERCISE! GRRRRRRR!!!

Geriatric?

I found my teeth guard! Hahaha!!! I saved myself from ordering to have another one made. I scrubbed and sanitized it. For some reason it felt like I was cleaning my dentures... and then my imagination took me to some place probably 30 years to the future! HAHAHAH!!!

This is awesome... it actually prevents me from grinding my teeth to my demise. It's a true stress reliever and hopefully prevents my jaw from shifting towards ugly-dom. Anyhoo...

***

I will make a food blog from now on (simang)

Phone Calls

After several weeks of not having a decent conversation in any other way, it was good to catch up with you. I guess that's quite a perk to wake up very early in the morning. Sorry I woke you! I know you're so stressed...

***

And you who I always bother (including your husband) at dinner time, thank you for never ceasing to make me laugh! Will not dare call you on weekends anymore, lisod!

***

You from down under, thanks! Next time we catch up there will be three of you supergirls in the same town... I really enjoyed listening to your Kiwi-ness hehehe!!! My little one just told me he likes to have a baby sistah and he will name him Lucy (from the movie Narnia) hehehe!!!

***

Hey, I was about to call you too but my boss woke up very early! Wa kaikyas si Inday =P

Thank you for all the blessings!

• my five wonderful years with him...
• my very adorable son who can now go to the potty most of the times
• friends who have cheered me on!
• family and friends who are that to me already
• getting my groove back
• the awesome time in Cebu
• our little hub in Minglanilla
• the inches I've lost!
• for his job
• this house
• our community here
• scarlett
• their glorious moments, I'm proud to know them.
• to be continued...
  

You Got Me Fever!

And fever it is, 102F. He brought KFC for dinner, I didn't feel like eating. I guess I ate only a few bites and had lots of iced tea. I feel like crying!

***

I am grateful that he took care of the whites that I washed earlier. I forgot to put them in the dryer.

***

I have not finished the KH books yet. My deadline was today. My brain is so stupid even for mundane tasks like this.

***

Thanksgiving na! Perhaps will put the tree out tomorrow so the little one will have fun this weekend.

Shots

One can never be too old to hate vaccine shots! It's painful and annoying. Since I came back I've had four shots, had my blood drawn twice, and poked once for TB skin test. It's never fun.

Now, my arms feel heavy, tired, and achy. I feel like I'm about to get a fever. I am lazy. I just want to sleep or perhaps finish The Devil and Miss Prym. But who will make our lunch and dinner? Who will clean up after wards? Who will sort the laundry and load the whites? Who will finish the bookkeeping for KH? Argh! Most of all who will wash my little one's bumbum, he's still not fully potty trained yet... accidents happen. Hahay!

And during times like this, I want to pull my hair and strangle my neck with it! Being sick on your own is never pleasant.

In My Pantry

This triglycerides issue has made a me a health freak. I am almost close to being a food-phobe. It has taken the fun out of eating! No more appetite, but very hungry. Like having sex without an orgasm, what's the point?!

In my pantry/grocery list you will find the following:

• flax seeds
• almonds
• weetabix
• oatmeal
• bananas
• salmon
• chicken fillet
• mango salsa
• salsa
• corns and beans
• bean sprouts
• tofu
  
• broccoli
• grapes

How boring could this get! HELP!

***

i found a recipe book from the american heart association... i need to be diligent in preparing my own food. kapoya!

I went for another physical exam today, I weigh 99 lbs! Yay! A few more to go and I'm back to my old weight.

My Job

I am mom, housekeeper, cook, and teacher during the day.
I am wife, boss, and crazy at night time.

This holiday requires me to fix myself up. Mark and I will be renewing our vows twice, and there is this company holiday party as well. I don't hoard dresses. I can count my pieces with one hand and God knows how many times I've worn them.

How am I going to dress myself up without recycling one too many times? Buying is not an option. I think it's such a waste of money to buy a dress for one occasion without plans of wearing it again.

So I went through the old pile. I noticed all of them have the same cut, empire tapered, and sleeveless. I tried them on (crossing my fingers) that they will fit me. And they did!!! Yey!!! This really made my day.

***

I can squeeze myself into my civil wedding dress and to my almost 8 year old navy blue dress!

Dear Friends

I miss you! I miss talking to my girlfriends. The nonstop gab, the chuckles, the giggles, the noise, the gossips err updates, stories under the moon and stars, brunch, to lunch, to coffee, to dinner... I miss filling up my calendar with social calls. I miss going to places. I miss taking a cab. I miss the malls and the chaos.

It would be too dishonest not to accept the fact that despite being happy living with him, I am alone. And I dread Mondays. I sometimes catch myself pining to have him here all day, the way the little one does every time he wakes up in the morning looking for his "DADDDDY!!!"...

Wouldn't it be nice to just wander off in a not so far way place for some chitchat? And then I miss the happenings we've had last year. Our little circle have had a lot of get togethers... halloween, thanksgiving, holiday parties, girls night out, impromptu dinner get togethers, shopping, etc... It is not the same anymore =(

The other family left for Dumaguete for good, the other couple will be relocating to Texas for several months (or years?), and the other one is expecting their second bundle of joy this Christmas. This apart from the fact that every Jane and John I know is morose and belt tightening because of the financial crisis (don't get me started on this).

It's just cold and un-exciting. Although the weather has been great since I arrived. Today it was in the 50s-60s! Imagine that on a November in Colorado!

Oh well, I miss Cebu and the beautiful people I left there. Hopefully next year I will be able to visit for a couple of months... for now, blogging works. FULL STOP.

Rediscovering An Old Flame

I have been caught up with too many desktop duties. I have forgotten how fun it is to actually create something from my hands. Tonight I have rediscovered my love of baking! I immersed myself with online tutorials on decorating and whatnots.

It's funny how an online buddy who recently learned the joys of baking (and claimed that I inspired her) rekindled my want to pursue this craft. And what are the odds of Zar posting her friend's website on cupcakes too?! Oh dear, it felt like a message from the heavens...

I have so much to learn! My sibs who were my students back then are way better than I am! I am proud of them... and I want them to be proud of me too!

I can't be a think tank all day long, sounds like a big BORE.

On our way to our gastronomic hunt, we were almost hit by a car! This stupid lady did not pay attention to where she was going! If he was not fast enough to swerve the car to the left most lane, I could have been the victim.

We were at the middle lane and this lady was from a strip mall at our right side. She just came right to our lane without reducing her speed! Goodness gracious, gi atay ka day?! Hapit gyud ko mamatay! He gave her the finger and the words to match it. Unfortunately she cannot hear him pastilan!

Too many idiots driving around town... this scares me a lot!!! I don't know when I will ever have the guts to drive!

Spicy Weekender

As always it's sweet and lovely to have a long weekend with him. To cap the weekend, we thought of having a gastronomic adventure! After mass I thought we'd grab lunch at our usual place, but he actually surprised me by saying he wants something else. (For as long as I can remember, he doesn't really mind ordering the same thing over and over again... if not for me, he will not dare try out other dishes)

So I cheerfully told him I feel like eating Indian food. I was craving for roti! I remember the ones I've had at Spice Fusion and all the roti, nan, chapati, etc. I devoured while in Hong Kong with my South Asian friends. He was game and so we were on a hunt for that Indian resto, thank goodness for Google maps.

He, who claims to eat anything except vegetarian, had lunch with me at an authentic Masalaa Vegeterian Resto! I had a hard time going through their menu. I was expecting to order meat! But since were already there we just had to savour that very moment. I chose chapati, samosa, and chana masala... that's all. I was scared to be disappointed... we were not! We loved it! Lamia gyud!

I told him that it must be that good for their fellow South Asians to dine in there. We were the "alin, aling ang naiba?!"

***

I thought of Vibha, Rosa, Maimai... I am sure they will be ecstatic if I bring them there =)

***

I don't mind being vegetarian with those kind of dishes... but too much spice gives me heartburn! HAY!

The Boys Went Shopping

It was his day off work today. I would have loved to spend it fussing around the house... I can work better with him around because the little one has a playmate! But we had errands and I already made my list... one of which I had to cancel because we were running late. Darn!

Anyhoo, I told him Kohl's was on sale. So after grabbing lunch at our favorite Asian Bistro we headed to hunt for good bargains. He bought a new pair of office shoes, pants, and the little one got a new pair of boots which he never took off anymore. Spiderman boots with lights is too cool for a three year old, that he had to show it off to grand-ladies hehehe!

We headed to Ross to look for decent sweaters and outerwear, still for him. He badly needs a new set considering he has to look his best to work hehehe! I had a grand time going through racks and racks of items which unfortunately doesn't have enough choices for "S". But he got two pieces which actually look great on him and quite 'cheap' for a Calvin Klein. Blah, sometimes I feel like I was shopping with a metrosexual bestfriend nyehehehehe!

And then my turn, I wanted to get those knee high boots but no luck. The smallest size available are in 6 or 7! I think I may need to order online hahaha!!! Anyway, I also wanted to grab a waterproof heavy duty outerwear. I don't like mine. I got it before we went to Maryland, it's size 14 at the kids aisle. It's heavy and stiff. SIGH! Again, XS is very elusive! The nice ones are more than a hundred bucks... I can't believe I'm lusting over a jacket! Really... but he already gave me my Scarlett Black... so I just kept my mouth shut.

Perhaps Santa will be extra generous this year... hmmm!

***

p.s. The little one got a new set of toy and lots more from Walmart, I came home empty handed and sore knees. I think I will only enjoy shopping with my boys hehehe!!!

Bashful

"Cute kaayo ka ganina, nag pajama, sweater, nya katugon pa kaayo!"

"Nagka sexy naman ako misis uy...."

I like mornings like this before he leaves for work. I drag my sleepy bum downstairs to prepare his lunch box, with brunch and snacks as well. Despite the morning madness we have a few minutes to ourselves while the little one is still asleep. We say our goodbyes, blow our kisses and "I LOVE YOUs" as he drives out of the garage.

I feel like this little bashful suburban wife. I go back to my nook, either to catch some more sleep or start fidgeting with whatever that comes to mind.

Morning rituals like this make me happy! It's the act of not taking things for granted, being grateful for each morning spent with your loved ones.

But really, I'm happy he called me sexy! That's what matters hahaha!!! So, he noticed.

Welcome to my new home! It's refurbished and redecorated. Thanks again Mai!

I guess, I'll be staying here until the next exodus hahaha!!!

What's Cooking?

I honestly do not like to eat anymore. I started with no starch and no sugar more than a month ago. I have learned to let go of rice, pasta, bread, and my sweets. I was content to having eggs and my steak! But now, I can't have it anymore as well. I am scared to wits to even imagining how an egg or a steak taste like. I don't want to die because I have a clogged artery somewhere...

***
I feel tired and weak these days because of the cold weather. I can't breathe properly due to allergies. I feel the need to get my GROOVE back!

***
Must exercise!

Niacin

As prescribed by my doctor, I took Niacin supplements to hopefully increase my good cholesterol and decrease my triglycerides in the process. She has warned me of the 'flush' as a side effect which may be an annoyance, I read about it too. Little did I know anything about the sensation of having a flush. Syet!

I popped the 500mg Niacin, 2500 more than daily recommended dosage! And instantaneously I felt chilly, tingly, warm, and weird. I felt it from my throat, ears, neck, and then down to my limbs! I was scared! Mark was scared too, he was actually ready to drive me to the nearest ER! I thought I was having a heart attack or an allergic reaction because of the dosage.

Google was very helpful, we learned about the other side effects of Niacin and the tingling would last for about 20-30 minutes. It went away thank goodness. I also need to be still because it also lowers down my blood pressure.

Paeta murag tiguwang uy! I will continue this therapy for two more months and hopefully I'd be okay then!

I wish I can edit the layout as much as I want, but I don't freaking know how to do codes and html! Well, stupids can't complain... but I am happy I can change the header.

It still feels weird to be back in blogspot...

Five Years!

For some reason, I found myself back in blogspot. This was my very first online journal back in 2004. This cradled and nurtured my crazy soul. This witnessed the pains of being a new wife in a new place without friends, family, and a career to get busy of... and now I am back with a vengeance!

It's funny that my last entry was back in 2006, that was two years ago! Oh my... I've been around pretty much. And I thought I will be abandoning this site already.

Anyhoo, Mark and I are celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary this December 19th! Imagine that! FIVE years... we made it hahaha despite of my neuroses =P

Oh well, let's see how I will catch up with this old friend of mine...