Who do I want to become? What do I want to do? There are so many choices and so many opportunities. But right now, it calls me to be mom and wife. It may not be that much to others... sometimes, I feel like it is more than I can handle. So far, I made it through difficult days.
What else could I do? What is it like out there? I really don't know. To be honest, I am scared to try. I have been in my "comfort" nook for quite sometime. I have become my own boss, of my time, and sometimes of whims. I have only been employed for four years. I don't know what I would bring to the table. These thoughts are actually senseless.
A career envy? An insecurity? I just want to bring home some bacon. It would be lovely to treat my boys with what they need and want (and a treat for myself would be a wonderful upside too). I feel like I could do a lot of things, just could not master one. So what is it that I could do?
I share these sentiments with my fellow full time mommies. A few of them I worked with a long time ago. Most of our colleagues and friends have become the best and the brightest in their fields. Not to mention earning a lot as well. While we laugh and enjoy our queendoms, we also wish and wonder what it would have been like if we chose to stay on with our careers outside the home.
So this bug has bitten me, for now I'll allow it. Tomorrow is another day, no time for drama. There are loads of laundry to be put away and a long list of to do and projects for the year.
3 comments:
i have always envied what you do. to be around your kids all day and to still do the things you love to do (like Kusina Habana).
you are multi-tasking and you do it well.
Hi Chichiroo! Thank you! I guess we always want what we don't have LOL! I don't think I'm doing it well. I try to do what I can. I'm already hands off from KH since the little ones came.
It's never too late to pursue a career, Tiris! Not saying you should, but just in case you decide to do it when your boys are older, just remember that it's never too late. You are doing a heck of a job being mom and housewife--that in itself is already a big accomplishment! And the one thing that we are so lucky to have is the freedom of choice. Sometimes certain circumstances push us to choose the path we desire less. But in the event you feel like changing gears, there will be choices for you to pick from. :-)
Post a Comment