Migraines

I got exhausted in my effort to achieve a "good wife" status... I hoped to become superwoman in one afternoon doing several chores at a time. The price I pay for slacking most of the time =P

"I got to do the laundry which was mile high and clean the house (I noticed the dust grazing over our stuffs already)... plus I need to make dinner before my husband gets home..."

My head started to buzz soon after spraying carpet deodorizer all over the room. Plus the lack of ventilation in the laundry triggered my migraine. It was all these factors not to mention several sleepless nights spent online - making blogs and chatting....

After dinner, I decided to turn in earlier than usual. I cried over the pain, I cannot stand the noise and lights around the room. Thank God for having a husband! I slept soundly and felt great waking up early in the morning =)

Meet Shamu in Seaworld here in San Diego. I can't wait to go back and enjoy their newest ride - Journey to Atlantis!!! I promise to post more pictures soon =)

This is the famous South Beach in Miami, Florida. It would somehow remind you of Boracay, however it is not a long stretch of isle. South Beach boasts of its art deco architectural designs (colorful buildings), trendy bars and restaurants, and bikini beach bums. It represents a successful integration of natural and built environment. A beach amidst the urban sprawl!

Welcome to San Diego!

One Lazy Sunday

Sundays are most special when spent with your family. Waking up with a premenstrual cramp just spoils the mood. But with my husband bringing me a bowl of cornflakes and milk for brunch I realized it was just perfect.

After eating I tried to get some sleep again hoping to soothe the cramps away. My already famished husband, not fed with proper lunch, waited until I woke up so we can grab something to eat. I lazily prepared myself so we could go and spend the rest of the Sunday.

I decided to eat at Hard Rock and have my twisted mac and cheese (with grilled chicken breast) while my beloved devoured his open faced sirloin with all his might! We were surprised that he can actually finish up an American-sized serving these days, not to mention he helps me with my share as well. Oh God!!! He has stretched his stomach pit. The next thing I know he would need a new set of clothes. Oh well, I guess it's about time =)

So after a leisurely late lunch we strolled along the windy (homeless infested) downtown alleys to catch an afternoon mass. It actually felt great to walk with much ease and comfort because this time we aren't late!!! Yey! Typically we rush our butts off and arrive during the sermon (or even much later)...

After all the spoiling (I have had all week long) I gave in to my husband's all time favorite luxury -- BOOKS! So we walked for about eight blocks to be at Borders (a bookstore similar to Powerbooks) to just chill. I would have actually chosen to stay in a mall and window shop or perhaps really shop. But then slacking at the bookstore's couch and read was more relaxing. Before heading home, we decided to check out their own cafe had coffee and cinnamon roll. Another filling adventure!

At 800PM the sun still shining we were homebound...

Baking the Bun

Some dear friends are expecting a visit from the stork anytime soon. I couldn't help but feel excited for them. I obviously would not know yet the thrill of anticipating a bundle of joy after nine months. I am just jealous!

I thought it would be great to become a mother at 24. Young and vibrant, vulnerable and sweet. However, things were not ready for me yet or was it the other way around? So while I waited I savoured my "moments" being on my own. As mentioned before "I was young, carefree, in love and mad!".

I went to Hong Kong for my graduate studies. Met new friends, learned different cultures, uttered a few foreign words, enjoyed the whole experience. And right before finishing it, I got engaged. Woh! The long winded relationship came to its conclusion/commencement, the altar, last December 19, 2003.

"Finally!" EVERYONE cheered when I tied the knot with my one and only LOVE! And finally, I'd see EVERYONE mouths shut - no more "So when are you getting married?" questions. I thought so too...now, EVERYONE pesters me with "so are you pregnant already?"!!! Give me a BREAK!!!

I guess it is a Filipino culture to expect a baby soon after the wedding (sometimes a little too soon hehehe!!!). Wham! Honeymoon was successful and productive... but it ain't for me. I still feel the need to enjoy my "moments" with my husband. Afterall, I guess we deserve to have some time for each other considering all those years we've spent apart.

Truth to tell, I find it a bit rude for someone to pry regarding that matter. I'd say it is better if we leave couples alone, let them be. For all we know, they may have their own reasons not having one just yet (and for what it's worth they need not tell you!).

Right now, I am preparing my oven so it becomes perfect enough for my little bun!

P.S. I adore babies so much. At some point, I was scared I may be barren but let's wait and see okay? Promise, I'll keep you posted.

My Beautiful Mind

The blank space gives me consolation. I have nothing to stare at and yet it stirs up my imagination. I feel the need to just do this to be sane in my life. Perhaps it is what you call introspection, prayer, or meditation. Most often these thoughts would transport me to another place and time.

Yes, I can very well control my imagined world. It is a less expensive getaway from reality. Ages before being married, I imagined a million and one scenarios of how my wedding would look like to how my routine will be once I am a wife. Now that I am in that state, I find myself imagining what it is like to be a mother. I guess that is how I project myself in the future. And yes, I end up fulfilling most of my imagined life. Is this what you call self-fulfilling prophecy?

Anyway, I can also control my mind even when I'm dreaming. Weird but true. If I find myself being chased by a snake I end up realizing it cannot be at all real, so the snake stops crawling and disappears. Once I'd wake myself up in the middle of the dream I literally can go back to sleep and continue whatever I am dreaming of, especially if it is as fantastic as being a princess in far away land.

There more odd things to tell about my so called mind. A fact proving we have only used a minimal portion of what we call the brain. I think that if I am powerful enough I can theorize like Einstein or even predict the future like Nostradamus.

Hopefully it will fulfill my wishful thinking of becoming the wealthiest person on earth haha!

Thai & Spices

Food is a favorite pre-occupation of a premenstrual soul. Yesterday I could not stop thinking about Snickers and today I just had one while watching "brain numbing" TV shows. I could not even write about anything else other than food.

Well anyway, I had Thai for dinner earlier (actually had Thai for the entire weekend also) and had my fill! To my friends who are coming over to visit me here in San Diego for sure we'll have Thai among others. It has been a hunt for me and my husband since we got here, we both love Thai food, and discovering two restos within our downtown stroll is so rewarding I must say!

The spices combined gives a different tingle to my Asian palate - the taste I somehow crave and long for quite some time already. A few months ago I could not even digest American food. Although, I realized I like the sirloin steak in Hard Rock hehehe!!! But then again, Thai rocks!

I recall my one week visit to Bangkok. I gained quite a few pounds devouring tom yam, spring rolls, lemon grass chicken, and other dishes which I cannot spell... It is just weird to see the tiniest eatery serving Thai (of course, moron I am in Thailand afterall!!!)... I had all the chili and spice in a cheap price (yohoo! I can rhyme...) I now miss the Thai Chicken Flame I had, wished I had it boxed... actually I left the bag =(

My Sweet Tooth =P

I prefer to have my dessert before an entree. I usually eat tiny meals to make room for my sweet cravings. Life would never be the same without sugar. What more can I say?

I haven't made/baked anything for this week, I have to go and buy eggs. I usually stock up on baking ingredients so I can whip up a leche flan or bake some goodies. Truth to tell, I only eat full meal during dinner time with my husband. When I am alone, I wake up at noontime and my stomach isn't ready for a proper meal yet so I snack on cakes or my favorite peanut butter/jelly sandwich!!!! Sometimes bananas and yoghurt fills me up already. But then again, I could never be filled without my sugar fix.

At some point, I got addicted with mouth watering cinnamon rolls (I discovered in Horton Plaza), then it was the Krispy Kreme doughnuts, then Snickers bar, then to ice cream, and back to cinnamon rolls again!!! It's really a sweet delight knowing there is something to munch on after dinner.

Now, I am tempted to go downstairs and grab some Snickers from the vendo machine...somebody stop ME!

I got my California state ID yesterday! Yohoo! Finally, I have a valid US identification card (other than my passport).

Getting married gave me the self identity blues. I ammended my passport so it would bear my married name. I came here on a new name, but no other ID supports that other than my marriage certificate. Somehow, I still could not identify myself with that name. Then I went to San Diego's DMV Office (think: LTO). The lady asked for my family name and I was speechless, for awhile I thought I forgot what it was. Hahahaha!!!

Well now, I got proof that I am a resident here. Therefore, I can go and borrow books from the public library. Yey!

June Gloom =(

Summer is officially here! Oh well, that's what they say. But I still could not bring myself to wear my shorty shorts and my sleeveless shirts like the girls here do. I can see their goosebumps as they flaunt their freckled skin on a breezy and less than summerly day. I guess San Diego does not have any season at all!

The weather somehow feels the same when I came here on a winter. Ironically, some of those supposedly winter days were a bit warmer than I expected. Anyhow, when the sun is up in San Diego it can really burn you up but your spirits chill with the wind blowing. So, at night time only the chills remain brrr!

I hate wearing bulky clothes. I hate carrying a jacket around. Lesser clothes the better. I just miss wearing my flip flops sans the blue toenails (shivering). I love the sun and hate the gloom and gray.

Happy Father's Day Pa!

Last year, were the last moments I spent with Papa. I remembered calling him on his birthday and father's day, and the only thing he can say is his shy "thank you" and "I'm fine!", then he goes "here's your Mama..."

I never really had a conversation with Papa as far as I can remember. He was always distant since I was always my Mama's girl. But I fondly recall how Papa used to play with me as soon as he gets home from the office. How he spoils me with a glass of milk every night before bedtime. Most often he does all the my household assignments so I can study or so. He had his own ways of being affectionate.

When, I came back from Hong Kong last August the complications brought about his brain tumour has affected his daily routine. He threw up most of the times and became incontinent, could not walk nor sit straight. Somehow he could not control himself any longer. He started babbling about different things, recalling past friends and activities, at times he would not recognize us or his friends. You would think he is suffering from Alzheimer's or purely senility at fifty six. His speech was slurred and his eyesight blurred. He was deterioriating.

Somehow, it was a blessing that I was always home - a fresh graduate and no full time job. He became my priority above other errands. Before leaving the house for meetings (preparing my wedding and doing freelance consultancy) I made sure he had breakfast and lunch, had his shower, changed his diapers and took his medications. I had to leave instructions to the caretaker as if a mother to a babysitter.

Everytime I'd leave him, he holds my hand oh so tight like a child clinging on to his parent right before leaving for work. Yes, he became our baby... He quietly sits in his chair, watching TV while everybody does their own thing. He doesn't complain, just sits there and smile. That I miss, greeting me everytime I'd come home.

Imagine the torture I went through when I was on my way back home last March? When he died, it was the worst day so far for me. Nothing comes close to losing a parent. I cannot even bring myself to look at his remains. I wanted to remember how he smiled everytime I arrived. That grin, even without saying a word gives the warmth of home. It was a sad homecoming indeed because the last time I saw him was my wedding day. He gave all his strength to see me walk down the aisle that day. I thought he'd still live the day to see his future grandkids. I was too optimistic.

Somehow, I feel guilty for having been an indifferent daughter at some point. I just hope that he died happy and loved. Happy Father's Day Pa! (",)

My friends in Cebu are going out tomorrow night, they are going to meet the new boyfriend of one of our dear friend. Too bad I'll miss it... we have waited so long for her to be dating hmmmmm! I wonder how he looks like...

Dinners with friends were usually delights to a very hectic or an uneventful week. Those were the therapeutic sessions you don't get from any shrink. Mostly, anything goes on during the dinner conversations... from the latest fashion trend to the ugliest toenail you ever saw... it also covers the tales and myths of relationships to sex positions and techniques... you share only to your girlfriends.

In my lonesome, while Mark goes to work (hunt for us), I the helpmate would often imagine how fun it must be to have friends close by. I wish I had a gym buddy, a shopping mate, and a salon/spa date. It's pathetic that after all these months, I have never made friends. To those who know me well, it is a statistic. I usually make friends easily in strange new places. I have made quite a handful in all my stopovers in this so-called journey, from high school to college, to different offices/workplaces, and graduate school.

Now, I guess I'll just have to make do with the oh so infrequent get togethers with Mark's interesting officemates (no, they aren't his friends!), that includes his boss and colleagues. I have to get used to the "lets-make-this-exciting" parties, the boring conversations and often forced giggles.

The absence of warmth here makes me very homesick. I live in an urban jungle, I wonder if this is at all different when you live in suburbia. I miss knowing my neighbors, having my mother and siblings around, I miss Cebu!!

between slacking and hitting the treadmill

There was an earthquake yesterday here in Southern California, June 15 at around 3:00 PM and hit the 5.2 scale. I guess it wasn't that bad after all there were no tsunami alerts whatsoever. Funny thing, I never noticed the quake though...I was on the treadmill while watching some hiphop MTV. I just noticed the door shaking but thought some kids may just be goofing around the hallway outside the gym room.

Why was I on the treadmill? When my days mostly are spent lying down while watching my favorite soap operas...hmmm! Well, I thought to myself that it would be better if I start doing something before my ass gets rusty! After six months of being in the United States, I actually miss sweating out... the dry weather sucks out all the moisture in me. So, I try to brisk walk, run, brisk walk until I'm drenched with sweat! Whew!!! I truly miss the kicks right after an exercise. I should do it more often.

No, I am not trying to lose weight but I am hoping to lose a little chub around my waistline. How come having a flat tummy has been elusive to me? I hope I achieve that goal before even hoping to get pregnant. Haha! Another blog that is...

Love, look at the two of us!

"look at the two of us, strangers in many ways...we have a lifetime to share...so much to say..." (I hope you are familiar with Carpenters' songs)

Mark likes what I hate, hates what I like and vice versa and we wonder what made us this far huh!? Everytime we choose and decide on certain things it never ceases to amaze us that somehow we are not that compatible.

He likes pets and I don't want to have any of those around the house, well maybe an aquarium will do (that I can compromise). I love to clean up the house and he goes around messing it up! Phew! He hates strawberries but I love it so much... yum! I hate it when it rains while my husband rejoices with it. He is a cheapskate and I am a known spendthrift! hahaha!!! I think you now get the drift, right?

But despite that, we have learned to get along and deal with each others' idiosyncrasies. We share the same passion towards family, life and love (lust as well, do I really need to mention that now?). We have managed to stay as a couple for over a decade regardless of the times we spent away from each other.

There is so much to say but no words can perfectly describe the roller coaster ride you enjoy once you are in a relationship with a fellow eccentric person. The thing called marriage magnifies your differences a thousand times and highlights the million reasons why you fell in love with each other in the first place.

Hence, I recommend marriage to the brave hearts! When in doubt, don't do it!!!

Tonight, I Will Be Miss Saigon!!!

"You are sunlight and I moon...midnight and high noon...we have been blessed, you and I!..." More than a decade ago, these tunes were familiar as ocho-ocho and the macarena. Proud Filipinos could never get enough of the Miss Saigon Fever! No need to explain why...

And then last Saturday, Mark and I watched the musical for the very first time!!! It was a bit nostalgic...the songs transported me back to my high school days...the good old days when everything was just pure fun!!! A funny thought though since Mark and I met in Science High =)

The tragic love story of Kim and Chris, reminded me of the ordeal I went through with my long distance relationship with my husband before we got married. "I still believe...you will return..." while I waited for Mark to visit me...it went on for about ten years. However, I am hoping I'll have a different ending... Kim killed herself.

Now, very much married... I want to sing and dance to... "see my bikini, it's just the right size.. don't you enjoy it, as it climbs to my thighs!?..." (Mark, you watching?)

I barely get enough sleep at night because Mark snores (sometimes) and he sleeptalks a lot! Need I say more??? Hehehe!

Oh well, let us just say that after he hits the sack for about an hour -- he then goes into his deep sleep mode...he starts babbling whatever, talks to me as if he is awake, gets up and makes a weird conversation, at times he screams!!! After his rants, then goes "the snore"...

Tell me, the lightsleeper, how can I sleep soundly??? Hayyylp! Tossing and turning wouldn't help, so I go online and blog hahaha! After sometime I'd get sleepy somehow but it's way too late already. Good enough I don't have an eight-to-five job hehehe!!! Unfortunately, Mark ends up not having his breakfast because his supposedly dutiful wife is still in dreamland. Whoopsie =)

An Indifferent Hello

I walk into an elevator and this stranger says hi and asks how my day was... good and thanks for asking... I was about to leave and the same stranger wishes me to have an enjoyable evening. What is wrong with this picture? Oh well, the person was a stranger obviously. I know that stranger couldn't care less as to how my life was and how it will become.

I walk into a restaurant with my husband, we were waiting to be seated. Another stranger, this time, a server/waiter, asked us how we were...must be customer service... this should be a nice place! We then ordered, the food was served, it was good!!! That server/waiter dropped every oh so often just to ask how everything was... oh God leave us so we can enjoy the food!!! Are they that desperate to have TIPS?

After a lovely night, we hailed a cab... and you guess it right, the driver asked us how we were... oh my is this a city policy in San Diego? Anyway, after all the "howyadoin" and etc. we arrived at our home sweet home apartment, gave the taxi driver some TIPS and he goes on wishing us "have a good evening!"....hmmm odd!

(Am thinking of making a sequel...)

A pre-menstrual wife should stay away from his stressed out husband. When he comes home, tired from work, the last thing he'd need is a neurotic wife. I guess being a woman has the "hormones" for an excuse, but sometimes it can be a bit too much. When the woman is pre-menstrual, she acts like a crazy animal waiting to be tamed and petted... she gets psychotic when she isn't given credit or appreciation...she gets nasty when she doesn't gets what she wants, she gets paranoid when she doesn't get any attention at all! And lastly, she gets oh so dramatic just about anything (it will make you sick).

Being a new wife, with a new name in a new place, with a new life actually made me more than a sick pre-menstrual woman. Imagine what hell my husband went through when he was busy with work overload and exam reviews! It's true, what they say, that an idle mind is surely a playpen of the devil. I realized our beautiful minds could create wonderful yet weird imaginations... I do not advise idleness to the weak of heart! Hahahahaha!

So now, I have to busy myself with productive activities in order to stimulate my once brilliant self =D I'd say planning a travel is motivating enough, budgeting for the household is more than challenging, and spending time with my husband is a pleasurable duty I must say!

On to our sixth month of marriage, Mark and I are back on honeymoon ville!!!

domesticated at last...

My friend Jan introduced me to this blogging "thingee"... I'd say it's a perfect way of sharing one's thoughts with friends and family.

Everyone knows I am now based in San Diego, California with my dear husband Mark. Not so long ago, I was stressing myself with my dissertation, wedding preparations, and a lot more. I was on my own, independent, carefree, in love and mad!!! I had a bunch of friends to go out with, party and enjoy.

Now, I sit at home alone watching soaps while I wait for my husband. He works just a few minutes from the apartment. Sometimes, when not lazy, I find myself doing chores... and then I realize I am domesticated at last!