Before it even escapes my mind, I better put my random thoughts in order (hopefully). Last night, I read about a mom with a bagful of regrets for staying at home with her two boys while they were growing up. She sacrificed a career (which today is almost obsolete), and now divorced, penniless, struggling to put her boys to college. Her resentments were purely financial. Although it is indeed quite scary to end up alone and poor, I don't think her being mom was an issue. She failed to discuss her failure in planning for her financial stability and her marriage.
Anyway, a few years back I wallowed myself into self pity-dom. I was quite successful in driving myself crazy, my husband, and my friends. I couldn't stay put with how things were in my side of the world. I cannot be just at home, I cannot. I have a lot in my mind, a lot of dreams, and etc. As a very good friend put it, it hurts her ego (she also takes care of everything else full time -- kids, the husband, the business). Whoever says you stop pursuing dreams when you become a mom? Hmmm...
There is no use of looking back how I was back then. Perhaps, I should cherish my notes of experiences in my heart so I will never ever go back to being miserable. We have our choices, we always do. No one forces us to sit still and the let the world go by without it noticing us.
Motherhood is not for the weak, same with other jobs. I am not super, although I hope to be one. I am not perfect, I am no Martha Stewart. I still have bouts of laziness and whatnots. The glamour of my so-called life for almost six years now, are the laughter I hear and the giggles, the wet kisses, the wobbly art works, and the love I see and feel. That goes without saying, I am grateful for my husband for giving me this opportunity to take care of our family.
This year, as I anticipate for the third one I cannot help but feel so much awe and love! The Lord has entrusted me three souls, three little miracles, three little bundle of joys, three hearts! I am grateful, I am!