Morning Offering

O Jesus,

through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,

I offer You my prayers, works,

joys and sufferings

of this day for all the intentions

of Your Sacred Heart,

in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass

throughout the world,

in reparation for my sins,

for the intentions of all my relatives and friends,

and in particular

for the intentions of the Holy Father.

Amen.

The Date

Ahmanson Theatre, LA

We weren't able to go out during my birthday because it was a work day and we missed the musicale at Buell Theatre this year (my supposedly earlier birthday celebration just like last year's), because I wasn't too well to be leaving the baby with someone else. So, we planned to have it in LA instead since we were hoping to attend Dale's christening. Plus, Filay would be a lovely baby sitter *wink*.

My Date

Little did I know, my date had already made plans. Although he wasn't able to get tickets to his original surprise (he's still not telling me), he was able to get us in The South Pacific. He chose the restaurant where we had our dinner before the show. I was a happy camper, no clue to where we were headed. I was expecting we'd go to the mall, catch a movie, and some food at a cafe. After the christening, I planned to change into more comfortable clothes like shirt and jeans but he didn't want me to... because...

The dinner was quite fancy for the two of us. I didn't want to order an entree that would cost as much as our usual family dinner out. But, it was our date! Well.... hehehe!!! We ate at Ciudad, the facade was not spectacular, it was at located in one of the commercial buildings in Downtown LA. There was a bar at the front and al fresco dining too, but as you go inside you see art deco and abstract doodles similar to that of Joan Miro. The service was superb and the food was great! Oh yum!

And then we drove to the theatre, he had to make sure the restaurant was just close by. He scheduled everything! I was so happy, still happy... that I didn't have to think that day. If you must know, it took him awhile to re-arrange his planned schedule since the other show (mag kisi kisi kuno ko ato, so he's still not telling) was fully booked that night.

The South Pacific did not disappoint, it was funny, sweet, romantic, and realistic.

"Happy talk, keep talking happy talk

Talk about things you like to do

You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream

How you gonna have a dream come true?"

Here's wishing for monthsarries in the years to come... and more surprises *wink, wink*

Happiness Is...

when the soul is dancing,when the breeze whispers calm,when love is beyond what you feel,when you know what matters.
made of moments you want to relive,of kisses and hugs you want to give and receive,and laughter with tears,made by the people who matters.

Lost and Found

It's funny how we find friendships in unexpected place, circumstance, and strange people (or so we thought). I don't have problems making friends, I work on it. I try to be a friend in all sense. Sometimes there are things -- unavoidable and sad -- that kills the relationship and well...

My sister often tells me "pataka lang ug pamunit", yes as if I took home some askal home. But really, there should not be any judgement at all... because, I always give people the benefit of the doubt (sometimes).

There have been moments where I found myself loving the person I used to hate, and hating someone I used to be so fond of. Now, at this age I have become such a recluse that I rarely make time to make new friends. Thank goodness for neighbours hehehe!

Nothing specific really, just thoughts about friendship... the people I love, the people I miss, and here's hoping they miss me too (ahem).

Investments

Today was beautiful, although nerve wrecking for me considering I had to cram for my learner's permit. I was actually scared to my wits that I wanted to cancel on taking the exam. Good thing the husband did not allow me, I passed anyway! So there.

As I've mentioned HKU merits another story... I pursued my graduate studies and came out a different person. My world was bigger and some things did not seem to matter. It was like my "coming of age". I've had several anxiety attacks to deal with. There were a lot of soul searching, fun, and some lovin'!

But this isn't about my graduate studies. It's about what I thought was a beautiful discourse between friends after dinner tonight. I am at awe at how meshed our lives are despite the differences. We all want to become better version of ourselves, and we all want to pursue the things that we love most (if we figure it out). We invest our lives into something and someone hoping it will give us the 'satisfaction'. We discern for ourselves, we make bold moves, and do that leap of faith.

Yes, faith. How much do you have? Are you confident that tomorrow will take care of itself? Well I am not honestly. As much as I want to be chirpy about it, I think we are responsible for the sum of all our choices. The life we have now is the fruit of our hard labor or recklessness. We are given talents to make use of and not to waste. We are given free will not to follow what others want for us. We are given mouths so we speak the truth about ourselves and not about others. We are given hearts to pursue love and not to envy what others have. That's just me.

I hope tomorrow will be fine. All these uncertainties can really make me temperamental. May I be calm, and sail through the wind without fighting it.

Exams

I get this knot in my stomach whenever I am about to take the exams. I take it to heart, not very lightly, that I can pass out. I remember during my finals in my graduate school, I kept going to the toilet minutes before we were about to enter the exam hall. My dear friend V had to call me out several times and gave me some reality check... "Ms. Crisostomo! What are you doing? We're gonna be late!"... that was almost a decade ago.

It used to challenge me to take the exams. Like this score junkie, I can't wait to know the results. I would like, almost always, to get the highest mark. I'd argue with teachers just to get extra credits, where credit is due of course. I'd negotiate with professors to do something extra just to have higher grades, i,e, write a paper, volunteer for class reports, etc. I would come up with 'projections' and expectations for each subject, to be able to come up with a decent average enough to be in the honor roll. If I fall short on my target grades, I'd hurt myself. Yes, physically torment myself like a psycho. That was how it was.

Why I went to HKU, and why I took Urban Planning was because it didn't require me to take any entrance exams like the GMAT for the MBA (which I would wanted to pursue). I only took TOEFL, just to prove that my English is good enough (blah!). Anyway, I think I was sent to HKU to learn more than Urban Planning though, but this merits another story.

When life happened to me, I was not used to being uncool with stuffs -- with failure, low esteem, mistakes, imperfection, etc. It drove me nuts that I couldn't handle what I thought to be was easy, supposedly. It drove my husband crazy as well and it took me awhile before I got out that hole.

I realize we don't get passing marks in life, but joys and sadness. Instead of A+ or a flat one, we get kisses, hugs, flowers, and love. We don't get an F or a 5, but we cry. We don't get the highest honors nor medals, but we get through life unscathed and strong, and we have friends and family to share it with.

My dear friend told me "di ka mamatay...." with regards to housekeeping and whatnots. I console myself with that, because instead of fussing and fretting about things that may not matter tomorrow, I enjoy my kids and keep myself and my husband sane (here's hoping). I have stopped comparing myself with others. And have ended this crazy illusion that I'll have an immaculate house and I can control everything and everyone like automatons. When life happened to me, I try to go through each day with dinner and laughter!

You think I'm such a psycho babble today, it's just that I am scared s**t tomorrow. I will take a written test so I can get a learner's permit to drive. Wah! So shallow. I have only read half of the handbook which have been sitting on my desk for more than a month already! Good luck to me! I badly need my driver's license. It sucks to be such a dependent.

Circle

It's truly wonderful to have the "best" friends in the world a soul can hope for. I have a handful of them, tested through time and adventures. They are the ones who are there when it matters. Not fleeting, not shallow... their love and support, I can always count on. We have been witnesses to each other's successes, heartaches, jubilation, neuroses, and whatnots. We spoil each other to bits. We have each other's back. These friends that I keep in my heart, I met in interesting times... again, when it mattered.

A few of the old remained, and the new ones have become or seem like old ones. Sadly, some of the old ones are strangers in my eyes. I do not know them, nor their passion, nor their wits. I don't know what they fancy and abhor. I don't know their story anymore.

But here's to all of you, who made my life worthwhile. We have a lifetime to enjoy each other's company!!!