Should I say habits? I guess I am living with a few bad habits that I seriously want to kick out of my system.My laziness and procrastination work hand in hand ever since I could remember! If some thing -- a task or whatnot -- does not challenge nor motivate me, it may take a million years for me to get my bum going. There are days when I just want to curl up and do nothing or do things I feel like doing (whatever that may be). I can't live on a schedule nor a routine. It sucks my brain out. Although ironically, I am living a life full of schedules and routines because I just have to. In my lifetime, I have only a short window of doing whatever I feel like doing. Despite this nasty habit of putting things off for later, I thrive to achieve things that I want. I plan and almost always have control issues.
I hope to always do better. Every day I resolve to be less lazy. Every day, there are hours wasted over I don't really know. And every day, I thank God for the opportunity to begin again! I get pissed when I haven't done a thing or two in my daily list of to-dos. Chores, I despise with much passion... it does not love me back as well. The more I hate it, it piles up with vengeance! Sometimes I wish I weren't here, but if I weren't I'd be a different person and I would not know how to manage a household and take care of the kids hands on. And I would not have the luxury to play and nap with them hehehe! It is a gift to be at home with them, I just need to toughen it up.
I can't be lazy. I can't be idle. I can't be the devil's playground.
Note to self: Yes, sometimes it helps to occupy your mind and your hands! Otherwise, you'd wallow in self pity and sulk. You would think you have the worse life there is. You think you deserve better. You become ungrateful. You become sensitive and irrational. You pick on a lot of people. You blame everyone else but yourself. And craziness becomes very you!!!
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